Between GigsSurviving unemployment

I am still doing what I am supposed to be doing while on Unemployment Insurance. Each and every day, the first thing I do when I get up is get online and start picking my way through the various job websites I frequent.

This was my third week of being unemployed. When I first lost my job, I saw the job sites as a field of possibilities. Now, after three weeks of trying to sift through them, attempting to separate the wheat from the mountains of chaff, I find myself becoming annoyed by these job sites. They aren’t offering me much for my efforts.

In a previous blog post, I wrote about an ad where someone wanted a “Substitute/ Associate Teacher”. I was trying to decide if it was a good idea to apply for that one, or not. I was concerned that this was basically asking for a Substitute Teacher, and wasn’t actually offering a full time position.

Someone on Twitter (I don’t know if this person wants to be named in this blog), had words of wisdom about this. “Apply for the substitute teaching job, because since it is not full time, you can collect partial bennies and they last longer.” The person went on to say “It also keeps your brain in the game so to speak.”

I decided this was sound advice, and intended to apply for this job. Now, one of the things I may be asked to prove to the powers that be from the EDD is that I “made contact” with employers. So, instead of applying immediately for the job, I waited a few days, so this “contact with an employer” would count for this week (October 11th – October 17th). I’d already had proof of contact for the week I actually found the want ad in.

I bookmarked the ad so I could easily find it again. A few days later, I was ready to send an email and apply for the “Substitute / Associate Teacher” job, whatever it turned out to be.

This proved impossible, however. I found this job on Craigslist, and now, instead of the ad I bookmarked, I was staring at a page that said that the job had been flagged. It had been removed by Craigslist, because too many people marked it as Spam. If the employer who wrote the original ad had filled the position that fast, it would say something to the effect that the ad had been removed by the poster, not that it was removed because it was flagged too many times.

So, overall, I suppose it was a good thing that I didn’t immediately apply when I first saw that ad. If I did, I might have ended up giving out a bunch of personal information to a Spammer. It’s still disappointing, however, that the ad wanting a “Substitute / Associate Teacher” wasn’t actually for a job. I never thought I’d see the day when finding work as a teacher was so impossible that the Spam Artists would start using offers of potential teaching jobs as bait!

This is (hopefully) the last part of the “Is This Spam?” saga. If you are reading the Between Gigs blog for the first time, I suggest you back up a few posts, and read the saga from the beginning. That way you can hear the whole story.

I thought the last email I sent to “John Doe” was crystal clear. I’d been asking him to tell me something, anything at all, about the job he supposedly was attempting to hire people for. He refused, over and over again. I’d had enough. I sent him the email I shared in my last post, and assumed he would take the hint, and realize he had failed in his attempt to trick me into attending the super secret “event” that he kept prattling on about.

Instead, John Doe sent me one more email. :

Re: why I think your ad should be flagged?
From: biblicalphrase@email dot whatever
Sent: Fri 10/16/09 7:45 PM
To: MySpamAddress@email dot whatever

Thanks for letting me know now u feel. I can tell u this…this is our 4th event at (Particular Local Restaurant) and we have put 22 people to work these people all responded to our CL ad …so say what U want we are helping people ..what R u doing to get people jobs.
Sent from John Doe’s BlackBerry

Ooh… it seems I hit a nerve! John Doe clearly wanted to have “the last word”, which, I assume, helped to assuage his guilt over all the deceitful words he spewed out to people who responded to his want ad on Craigslist.

My best guess is that John Doe was thinking that I would read this email and suddenly think to myself, “Oh, no! They hired 22 people! How could I have been so wrong, to think this wasn’t a real job! I simply must attend that “event”, and make amends.” Yeah, that’s going to happen!

Let’s take a closer look at the email John Doe sent. The last phrase reads: “…so say what U want we are helping people ..what R u doing to get people jobs.” I am overjoyed he wrote this! This sentence, all by itself, completely gives away the truth that John Doe is working so hard to conceal. These are not the words of a professional business person, seeking to hire new employees. No, these are the words of a child on a playground who got into an argument with another child, and lost. It’s basically a slightly more verbal version of “neener-neener-neener”! His use of “R” instead of “are” and “U” instead of “you” further emphasizes that something not quite on the level is going on here.

Real employers do not throw questions at job applicants such as “what R u doing to get people jobs.” Real employers know how to tell the difference between a declarative sentence, and an interrogative sentence, and know which one should have a question mark at the end of it. Also, I suspect that most employers who are interested in hiring people for a real job already realize that potential job candidates are not the ones that are supposed to be doing things “to get people jobs”. That’s what the employers are supposed to be doing!

Look at how misleading this phrase is: “..this is our 4th event at (Particular Local Restaurant) and we have put 22 people to work”. Simply throwing a few numbers into a sentence, without any context, or any proof that your data is accurately representing what you imply, is not the way to convince someone that you are right and they are wrong.

Let’s see, they have had four events, and they hired 22 people. Oh, excuse me, they “put 22 people to work” (not the same thing). That is 22 people out of…. how many, exactly? For all I know, a thousand people showed up to each of the four events. They “put 22 people to work.” This is not impressing me.

They “put 22 people to work”…..doing what? I still have no idea. John Doe might have “put people to work” mailing religious literature to everyone in town. Perhaps he “put people to work” carrying signs at a rally. Maybe he “put people to work” sending everyone on the internet a spam email, or he “put people to work” making a fake account on Twitter to send spam DMs out of. Maybe he “put people to work” selling gold on World of Warcraft, until their fake accounts finally get banned. Who knows? I have no actual proof that John Doe did anything at all to “put people to work”. There is no way to verify his claim.

Also, to “put people to work” is absolutely not the same thing as hiring someone for a job that has a specific wage, specific hours, and specific work related duties. To “put people to work” is to hire someone to stand on a corner with a sign that says “going out of business sale” and has an arrow pointing the way people should drive if they want to shop it. It won’t offer enough money for a person to live on, and it’s certainly not going to offer any benefits.

In my experience, not just with employers, but with everyone, I have noticed a repeating pattern. People who intentionally set out to deceive others, for whatever reason, are the same people who lack the skills to say “I’m sorry” when someone calls them out on their despicable actions.

I think these people have deluded themselves into thinking that they are the ones who are acting morally, when, in reality, they are not. These are the same people who, when caught in a lie, will say anything they can think of to try and convince the person who caught them that they are the ones with the warped moral compass, instead of the lier. It must be incredibly draining to be emotionally twelve years old, forever and ever. Twelve year olds shouldn’t be on the internet unsupervised. They might start creating ads on Craigslist for jobs that don’t exist!

Again, if you are jumping into this little saga here, you might want to scroll back, and start at the beginning.

“John Doe” sent me another email. Unfortunately, he didn’t bother to answer any of the multitude of questions I have been asking him, in regards to what the job he is offering actually is, once again.

Here is what John Doe had to say this time:
Re: why I think your ad should be flagged?
From: biblicalphrase@email dot whatever
Sent:Fri 10/16/09 12:32 PM
To: MySpamAddress@email dot whatever

Jennifer
I wish I had the time to email back and forth with u. I would love for u to attend but I don’t need u to attend. The reason I don’t answer more of Ur questions is because I don’t want to let too much out of the bag..other wise why would someone attend. This isn’t a scam or time share its a 1. 5 billion dollar world wide company. This is all I will let out…either u show up or u don’t its your choice….got to repost now someone flagged me again….cioa

John Doe has had a change of heart in his regard for me, it seems.
He is now calling me “Jennifer”, my full name, all nice and formal. He has stopped calling me “Jen”, something a friend might call me.
I suspect this email was sent from his Blackberry once again.

I don’t think I could have been more clear with John. I said that whether or not I attend his all important event would depend on if he decided to give me some clear answers about what, exactly, the job he was offering happened to be. For reasons I cannot explain, or entirely understand, he neglected to do so.

I decided to send one last email to John Doe, just to let him know that I would not be going to his super secret “event”, and why:

John,

I have given you several chances to give me a clear and specific answer about what the job you are offering actually is.  You have now decided that you don’t have time to email back and forth with me, and refuse to answer any of my questions regarding your employment opportunity.  I stated, quite clearly, that whether or not I would attend your event would depend entirely on the quality of the information you sent me about the job you are hiring for.  Either you would answer, or you would not, it was your choice.  You chose to continue to be vague, and to continue to avoid telling me one single concrete thing about this job.  I suppose it is a good thing that you “would love for (me) to attend, but don’t need (me) to attend”, because I will NOT be attending your event.  

I cannot understand why a “1.5 billion dollar world wide company” has to resort to using an intentionally vaguely worded ad placed for free on Craigslist to find potential job applicants.  Shouldn’t a company making that much money be able to use one of those “headhunter” organizations to assist with that?  

I’m not at all surprised that your ads keep getting flagged as Spam.  I tried to help you write an ad that wouldn’t look like Spam in the first email I sent to you.  Adding a few clear details to your ad such as: what the job is, what the job pays, and if the job is part time or full time really would help you avoid getting flagged as Spam.  

But, I guess you don’t want to do that, because all that is important to you is that people attend this “event”, not that the job seekers actually find viable employment.

This is incredibly cruel of you, and your “1.5 billion dollar world wide company” to do to people, considering today’s economy.

Good luck! (I think you will need it).

Jen 

I suspect this is the last I will hear from John Doe. I did not find a job at the end of the trail of misleading emails, but, honestly, I didn’t truly expect to. I am sick to death of people who, like John Doe, and whatever “1.5 billion dollar world wide company” he is supposedly connected to, take up space in job listing sites that could be filled by actual jobs.

Since I have become unemployed, I have taken notice of how often people choose to use language that is designed to confuse job applicants. To them, it is all just some kind of sick game. My life, and the lives of all the other millions of unemployed people out there, are stuck weeding through piles of lies and innuendo laden job ads, in our efforts to seek employment, and be able to pay or bills. It’s not fair, and it’s not right! I consider this saga “Is This Spam?” to be one person’s attempt to fight back against the sleazy and dishonest people out there, and hold them (somewhat) accountable for their words. Some might call that “karma”.

If you are joining me at this point, you may want to scroll back a few posts and read the entire saga from the beginning.

Our man, “John Doe”, sent me another email. Here is what he had to say this time around :

Date: Fri, 16 Oct 2009 10:08:02 -0700
Subject: Re: why I think your ad should be flagged
From: biblicalphrase@email dot whatever
To: MySpamAddress@email dot whatever

Hi Jen,

The only thing it costs for people who want to attend is about 40 minutes. If after 1 minute you decide you want to get up and leave…be my guest, its your life you are in charge. People who attend get a gift at the door. I Love the way you think and the questions you have. I really want you to attend, I will send you an invite. Ask for me personally at the door, I want to meet you. 

John

John actually answered one of my questions! I asked what it costs for people to attend his event, and he was able to give me a clear answer. It only costs time. It does not cost money. Great! This is evidence that John can respond to a question with a clear answer when he chooses to.

A quick glance at my inbox revealed that this was not the only email John Doe sent me this time around. He also sent me two more identical emails. Clearly, these were the emails I was supposed to print out and use as my “ticket” to attend his ambiguously worded “event”. There was a glossy looking photo of paparazzi aiming their many expensive cameras right at “me”.

Below the dramatic photo was the following text:
Business Briefing Oct. 19th @ 7PM
This is your invitation to the business briefing at the (Particular Local) Restaurant.
Your seat has been saved.
Please RSVP.BRING A FRIEND AND GET A GIFT AT THE DOOR.
The dress code is jeans / t-shirt and flip flops, cause that’s how we roll. Print this invite and bring it with you.

I have now been sent the Spammy looking email mentioned in the original ad. Twice!

John answered one of my questions, the one about what it costs to attend his event. What about all the other ones I asked him? You know, the ones that would give me relevant data about if I wanted to attend his event? This new email from John Doe showed improvement, but was still unacceptable.

I sent this follow up email:

John,

Thank you for answering the question I asked “What do people who attend your “event” need to pay you in order to attend it?”.  You made the answer very clear, that the event does not cost anything in dollars and cents, but only in a person’s time.  It’s nice to see you are able to answer questions in a clear and concise fashion.

However, you still have not answered any of my other questions.  I still have not learned one single concrete thing about exactly what the job you are offering is, or what it might pay, or how many hours a week it requires.  I do not understand why you would choose to ignore all of the questions I asked that real job seekers would find the most important, and instead only answer the question that has to do with the cost of your event.  

I am confused by your statement “people who attend get a gift at the door”.  The last time I attended an “event” where people were given a free gift just for attending, it turned out to be a sales pitch for a time share in Florida.  I’m not kidding.  

It’s very kind of you to say that you like the way I think and want to meet me.  I realize many people would simply be annoyed with my questions.  However, I am not the type of person who jumps in blindly to attend events where :
* I don’t really have any idea what it is about or what it is for
* I don’t actually know anyone who will be there
I also don’t apply for jobs where the information I can find about the job is insufficient for me to determine if the job will meet my needs.  You say you want to meet me?  Answer my questions, and I will consider attending the event.  Whether I do or not will depend on the quality of information you provide in the questions I have been asking in the previous two emails.

Hope to hear your answers soon,
Jen

Will John Doe actually deign to answer my specific questions about what kind of job he is offering? Tune in to the next post, for the next episode in the ongoing saga: “Is This Spam?”  

If you are new to this story, click here to read part one of this story.

To my complete surprise, I got an email back almost immediately. It said something along the lines of “Thanks. I will change the ad after I get back in the office”. It was sent from an actual person’s Blackberry.

A little while later, I got the following email:

Date: Thu, 15 Oct 2009 15:15:55 -0700
Subject: Re: why I think your ad should be flagged
From: biblicalphrase@ email dot whatever
To: MySpamAddress@ email dot whatever

Jen,
 I just got back to my office and was able to read your email. Thanks for the recommendations. I can tell you this is the real deal, not spam. We are not roping people in to show them how to find a job or anything like that. As far as why the ad is vague, we put the least amount of information out there, because we want to attract a certain type of personality, We don’t just want a warm body who answered an ad working with us, we want someone who is adventurous and willing to take chances. We hold our business briefings at a respectable local restaurant for two reasons, first, the owner of (This Restaurant) is part of our business and second, we want people feel more comfortable, being (This Restaurant) is a public venue.  This is not a cattle call …lol this is sales in the relationship marketing genre. I hope this makes you want to come to our event (I promise it will change your life) and not want to flag the ad.

Signed… Let’s call this person … “John Doe”. There was an actual person’s name at the end of the email. The first name was made up of two initials, so, I honestly don’t know if the person on the other end of the email is male or female. So, for the purposes of this story, the person will be called “John Doe”.

John Doe took the time to send me a personal email, which means there is an actual person behind this Craigslist ad, and not just a Spam Bot. Nothing in this email helped me to understand what the job was actually for, however. I took a few moments to check out Craigslist again, but, I could not find any ad that seemed to be from John Doe. No ads named the Particular Restaurant that John mentioned in the first ad, and in his email.

I was not satisfied with this answer, so I sent a second email:

John Doe,

Thank you for your response.  It is clear that you are an actual person, and not simply a Bot designed perpetually spit out Spam after all!  That is good to know.

When I sent you the previous email, I bookmarked your ad.  I notice that as I type this email, your ad has been flagged for Spam, and removed.  I did not flag it, but clearly, lots and lots of people (other than myself) thought your ad was, in fact, Spam. 
 
I read your first ad, and was unable to find your newly worded ad.  You and I have exchanged a few emails now, (which is something not everyone who browsed the jobs on Craigslist lately is doing), and still, I have not heard you state exactly what you are looking for, or exactly what you are offering.  

* What does “sales in the relationship marketing” mean?  That is not a job category, or job title, I have ever heard of before.  What specific duties is a person whom you hire for this job expected to do?  

I understand the word “sales”.  I do not understand how that relates to “relationship marketing”.  Are you hiring prostitutes/ escorts?  What, exactly, are you wanting people to sell?  It was nice of you to tell me what restaurant you meet at for interviews, (even though I did not ask you that specifically).  Is “sales in the relationship marketing” a fancy way of saying “we are hiring waitresses/servers”? 

* In the past, I have worked for some companies that had something to do with sales.  Is your job one of those that pays people a very low rate, with the promise of commission if you reach a certain quota?  I’ve worked telemarketing before, and somehow…. those quotas seem to magically get higher every time somebody in the office gets close to reaching them.  Is the job you offer one of those kinds of jobs?   

* Are you hiring someone for a full time position, or a part time position?  How many hours per week?  Is this job permanent, or only “temporary” or “seasonal”? Is your company one of those that starts everyone it hires on a “Probationary Period” of the type that allows you to fire them with no warning on a whim, (days before they are eligible for benefits, or a raise)?  It happens. 

* Will the person (or people?) you hire for this job be paid hourly or salary?  If salary, what is the ball park starting figure?  What would the hourly pay start at?  Is your company one that considers the applicants previous experience, and pays a higher rate based on that experience?  Do you offer benefits to your employes?  If so, what might those benefits be? (401K?  Health Insurance?  Employee Discounts? Company Jet?)   

* All the jobs I have looked at mention what qualifications the applicant should ideally have.  What qualifications are you looking for?  Valid California Driver’s License?  A Bachelors Degree?  If so, in what? Or, perhaps you prefer someone have a Masters Degree in… something … instead?  Are you seeking people with a few years previous experience in…. whatever it is that your job is about?  If you truly “want to attract a certain type of personality” then why not say state what that type of personality is? Something like: “We are looking for upbeat people who have a nice telephone voice and a welcoming smile.”  

I asked you many of these questions in our previous email.  I’m not sure why you chose not to answer my questions with clear answers.

Oh, one more question:
* What do people who attend your “event” need to pay you in order to attend it?

I look forward to hearing your answers,
Jen

I realize that there are a few typos in that email. It was around three in the morning when I sent it. Being unemployed is causing me to become nocturnal, once again. I was as specific as I could be with my questions for John Doe. Do you think John Doe gave me any answers? Come back to the Between Gigs blog for the next installment in the ongoing saga: “Is This Spam?”

Earlier this week, I was browsing the general category of “Jobs” on the local Craigslist page. I came across this ad:

Do You Need A Job? (Central Coast)

Date: 2009-10-15, 8:56AM PDT
Reply to: An email address, with a biblical connotation. (No, even I am not mean enough to go and post somebody’s actual email address on a public blog without their permission).

Do you want to make some money? Is your “Plan A” not working out so well? It is time to start working on your “Plan B.” We are looking for HUNGRY, Motivated, Aggressive people, 18 to 118 years old, college students, non- college students who want to start working and making money by next week. Work between classes, between study sessions, on the weekend, whenever you want. Email me at the (the same email address above) to RESERVE YOUR SPOT . We are holding a business briefing and interviews on Monday, OCTOBER 19 … 7PM @ (A Particular) Restaurant in (Somewhat Local Town) – (Here is the Address). Make enough money to buy beer on the weekends or enough to pay for your entire college education or mortgage, It is up to you. Whether you think you can or you think you can’t …YOU ARE RIGHT… You can make excuses or you can make money, but you can’t do both. Email today to SECURE YOUR SPOT & INTERVIEW. Within 3 hours of responding to this ad you will receive an invitation via email, print it, bring it, it is your ticket to the event. Due to the overwhelming response to our business briefing in September, we decided to hold another event. If you missed the last one DO NOT MISS THIS ONE, SAVE YOUR SPOT TODAY.

Please Please*** If you believe this ad is a violation of use for CL please send me an email letting me know what I should fix or change. Give me a chance to make changes before flagging and deleting my post. My intention is not to violate any terms. Thank you.

• Location: Central Coast
• Compensation: $1- $6k per month.
• OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
• OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
• Please, no phone calls about this job!
• Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

This ad just screams out: “I AM SPAM!!! SPAM I AM!!!” I am starting to get very angry at these employers who insist on cluttering up the job sites with these incredibly vague sounding ads that do not lead to actual jobs!

I was tempted to simply click the button that will make the powers that be at Craigslist aware of the Spam Sandwich that appeared in their Job listings. Instead, I decided to vent my frustrations in a more direct manner. I’ve got nothing but free time. I’ve got nothing to lose. Why not?

The email address, listed not once, but twice, in this ad was made up of a cutely spelled phrase that brings to mind a particular bible story that many Christians are told when they are children. Christian Spam? I had no idea, but I intended to find out.

Here is the email I sent to “biblicalphrase@email dot whatever”:

Hello,
You asked in your ad for people to “let you know” why they feel they should flag your ad.  Here is why I want to flag your ad:

(1) Your ad does not clearly state what the job you are offering actually is.  Is it sales? Is it telemarketing?  Is it a cattle call for an acting job?  I’ve no idea.  You specifically made that unclear to readers, which makes me instantly suspicious that there is no actual job behind this ad.  If you don’t want me to flag your ad, put wording in it such as : “We are looking for motivated sales associates”.   

(2) Compensation is listed as “$1 to 6K per month”.  Job seekers don’t want to read ads that are this vague about how much the employer is willing to pay.  If you don’t want me to flag your ad, put in language that is more honest, and more clear about what the job pays.  Something such as this: “This job is part time.  Pay starts at $7.50/hr with potential to earn more based on commission.”  

(3)  When I read ads that are this intentionally unclear, it makes me believe that the ad is, in fact, spam.  Your ad makes me feel like instead of getting a job, I would be going to some sort of motivational seminar about how to find a job.  I know how to find a job already.  I do not need a therapy session about how to change my thinking to make a job magically appear.  Anyone who has the slightest awareness of the current state of the economy should know that wishful thinking is not going to solve the problems of why there are so few jobs right now.  Put all this together, and this means that your ad is Spam.  If you don’t want me to flag your ad, reword it entirely, so what you are offering is crystal clear.  If it’s not a job, it doesn’t belong in the Jobs section of Craigslist, and should be marked as Spam.

Also, I read in your ad that people who respond to your email will receive an invitation to your …. interviews?  seminars?  meetings? in return.  If you automatically send me one of those, without specifically addressing at least some of the things I wrote about in this email, I will mark your ad as Spam.  Actual employers, who specifically state that they want to be contacted about why someone thinks their ad is spam, would actually respond to what someone says.

Oh… and because I do believe this is a spam email address, and not an actual person, I am sending this email from an email address that I hardly ever use. It’s for dealing with SPAM. 

Looking forward to hearing your answers to my comments,
(but doubt I actually will),

And then I signed my name here.

I don’t actually care that they have my email address now, because, like I said, I gave them an email address that I give to places that I believe are going to flood my email inbox with Spam. All those stores that ask for your email address when you make a purchase? They get the email address I sent the (potential) Spam Bot. Go ahead, fill it up! I got time to delete unwanted email.

Let’s see where this little experiment goes!