December, 2009


28
Dec 09

Dear Part-Time Job

Dear Part-Time Job,

It’s not you, it’s me.

Things started off so well. I was finally over my previous employment relationship, to the point where I didn’t miss it, or have the slightest interest in ever going back there. I was looking for someplace new. Someplace that could give me a couple of hours a week. You placed that ad on Craigslist, hoping to find a part-time employee, and the timing seemed perfect.

The whole interview process was delightfully short and simple, (especially compared to what I went through with my previous job). All it took was one phone call, a few quick emails, and a quick look at my resume for you to decide you wanted to talk to me. You only needed one person to approve of me, (and not a large group, like my last Job did). We talked a little bit about what we wanted, and, just like that, I became your new employee. It was so easy!

You are a really nice job, in many ways, Part-Time Job. I must admit, I starting thinking about our potential future together, as Job and Employee. Could this become a Full-Time situation someday? Did I want it to? I was considering it. None of my previous Jobs were as nice to me as you were, and I really liked that about you.

Right from the beginning, you wanted to spend much more time with me than the couple of hours I was looking for. I must admit, I was flattered, at first. It was nice to be an employee that was wanted by a Job, for a change, instead of a non-employee sending resume after resume to Jobs that never responded.

This was where the problems started with us, Part-Time Job. You were just so needy! You wanted me there almost daily, to fill every empty hour in your schedule. There were times when I left you for the night, and you wanted me to return to you less than twelve hours later. I thought we both wanted this to be a Part-Time employment relationship! Instead, I was starting to feel as confined and restricted as I did when I had a Full-Time Job. I realize that most employees in this economy would love to have all those hours with you. I guess I just wasn’t ready.

Everyone has things they like to do when they aren’t at The Job. I was no exception. One night a week, I had something I did with friends. It was just for fun. Honestly, I wasn’t working at another Job! I thought you would understand that, Part-Time Job, but no, you certainly didn’t. You insisted that you and I had to be together that one particular night, week after week. When I finally decided I needed to say something about it, well, we both know that didn’t go very well.

What finally made me decide that you were not the job for me after all, Dear Part-Time Job, was the sheer amount of rules you had. Everything had to be done so quickly, with no mistakes. Just when I thought I’d learned how you like things to be, you would change them. You kept adding more and more details to everything, and I became overwhelmed and extremely frustrated. You were such a nice Job, though, that I really wanted things to work out between us. I gave it my best try, but, by the end, it was clear to both of us that I wasn’t the employee you needed me to be.

I’m sure the perfect employee for you is out there, somewhere, Part-Time Job, and that the two of you will meet, someday. Someone who can be as detail oriented as you need. Someone who wants all the hours you can give them. I just am not that person, and I believe that if you think about it, you will realize that things could never have worked out between us.

Maybe you should consider putting your ad back up on Craigslist now.


27
Dec 09

Lucky Lottery Tickets…. I Hope

One of the things I got for Christmas this year were four lottery tickets.
tickets

I think a lot of people throw a few lottery tickets into the gift bag before giving the gift. It’s become something of a tradition in my family. Lottery tickets are nice because they represent a chance to win money. Until the moment you scratch them off, you can continue to dream about what you might do if you won a million dollars. After all, somebody has to have a winning ticket somewhere right? It could be you. It could be me! I’m unemployed, and it’s nice to be able to just to sit back and imagine having some extra money for a while.

Will these scratch off lottery tickets be winners? Let’s find out!

I’m going to start with the one that says “Cash To Go”. Printed inside a neon pink shape that resembles a cartoon explosion it says “Now with over $1.4 Million in $10 Prizes!” I am guessing most people read the “$1.4 Million” part and just focus on that number. However, if I understand it correctly, it is telling me that if I am very, very, lucky… I may win ten dollars. On the bottom of the ticket, in a box it says “Win up to $500!”. Surrounded by four stars, two green, and two purple, it says “QUICK $10 SPOT”. I am now completely confused about just what I might win from this ticket.

The directions for that one say “Match 3 like prizes, win that prize. Match 2 like prizes and a “GO” symbol, win 3 times that prize. Reveal “10″ in the “Quick $10 Spot”, win $10 instantly!”

Here we go. Quarter in hand, I proceed to start scratching off the ticket. The “Quick $10 Spot” says “9″. No winnings there. Now, I think I need to start scratching off the little icons of bundles of dollars, and hope to match three? I think? There are six. I get:
$4.00
$100.00
$20.00
$100.00 again! Just need one more!
$20.00 again! Just need one more!
One last little bundle of dollars is left for me to scratch off. Will this card be a winner? Holding my breath, and hoping for the best, I scratch off the last one. It says: “$3.00″. No such luck! For a few seconds, this was exciting. The part that says “Win up to $500″ is not something to scratch off. So much for that. I didn’t win anything here.

On to the second lottery ticket! This one says “Cool Cash” and has cute little penguins on it. The directions say: “Match any of “YOUR NUMBERS” to the “WINNING NUMBER”, win that prize. Uncover a (icon of a dollar bill), symbol and automatically win that prize”. Each cute little penguin is sitting under the words “YOUR NUMBERS” and has the word “prize” under it. Off to the side, frozen in a big block of ice, is a dollar sign, with “WINNING NUMBER” over it. Here we go! I start scratching penguins. There are five. I get:
$6.00 and number 15
$4.00 and number 11
$50.00 Oh boy! and number 7
$500.00 Wow! and number 8
$6.00 Got two of those! Does it mean anything? and number 25
The winning number says : number 26
Hmm… didn’t win anything there either.

Next ticket! This one says “HIT $50!” There are five little pictures of bundles of money, under the heading “YOUR NUMBERS”. There is a green box with a dollar sign that says “WINNING NUMBER”. The directions for this one say “Match any of “YOUR NUMBERS” to the “WINNING NUMBER”, win that prize. Uncover a HIT symbol, win $50 instantly!” This seems less complex than the previous lottery ticket. Here we go! I get:
$25.00 and the number 9
TICKET and the number 12. Hey, I won a free lottery ticket!
$10 and the number 11
$50.00 Oh Boy! and the number 21
$5.00 and the number 26

The “WINNING NUMBER” is: 12. This matches up to the one that says “TICKET”. I won a free lottery ticket! I can try again!

One last lottery ticket to go. This one says “Make Me a Millionaire!” and has a large box that looks like a flat screen tv, which says “TV SHOW!”. Is this inspired by an actual television program? I’ve no idea. The directions are simple: “Match three like prizes, win that prize.” I think I am supposed to scratch off the tv screen? I get:
$2.00
TV SHOW
TV SHOW
$50.00 Oh boy!
$50.00 Oh boy, again!
and….
$10.00.
This lottery ticket is not a winner. It was nice to dream for a while, though.

Now, I can take the ticket that gives me another ticket to a store that sells the lottery tickets, turn it in, and try again. I can also take the other three tickets, and enter them online into some kind of second chance drawing. Pretty sure I won’t hear anything about it after that, but if I do, I will write a blog and let you all know what I won.

I guess I can continue to dream for a while, after all.


26
Dec 09

Really Helpful vs Selfishly Helpful

When times are hard, it’s so nice when local businesses take the opportunity to help those who are in need. Right now, many of the large, corporate owned, chain restaurants are helping people by giving away coupons. These coupons are usually of the “buy one, get one free” type. Yes, this does give a person who doesn’t have much cash a little more food for the money they would spend, if they happen to want two “value meals” instead of one, or an extra cheeseburger at that moment. I have found these type of coupons work pretty well if you are trying to feed two people, and you want to split the fries or the drink.

Make no mistake though, these coupons from the big chain restaurants are not actually there to help people who need food. One must come in and spend money before you can get the free item they offer. The hope of the big corporations is that you will use this coupon, buy the food item they are offering, get the free item, and then spend some additional money to buy more stuff.

For example: If a coupon says something like “get a free cheeseburger if you buy a value meal”, and you are trying to feed two people, you most likely end up buying the value meal, and an extra order of fries, and an extra drink…. which might cost more than if you just bought two value meals. It certainly costs more than the “buy a value meal and get a free cheeseburger” that you came in for. Big chain restaurants don’t want to help you, the unemployed or underemployed person with limited funds, unless, of course, they can do it in a way that tricks you into giving them more of those limited funds. They care that you don’t give your money to the next fast food place on the block, but they don’t give a damn about people. It’s all about helping themselves reach their “sales plan”.

Chain restaurants who offer a coupon for a “free appetizer” are hoping you will come in for the free item, and then order an entree, and some drinks, and maybe another appetizer. Oh, and hopefully you will bring somebody else with you, who can also order their own entree, drinks, and appetizers. They are making you think they are helping you, when they are really helping you give them more of your money. It’s about helping themselves stay “in the black”. It may provide a little help to people with very little cash, yes, but, mostly, it’s a way to claim that they are doing something to help, while selfishly grabbing all the cash they can, from people who can least afford to give it.

One would think that the largest restaurant chains would be able to afford to offer some real help to people right now, but that isn’t what I see. It’s the little restaurants, the “mom and pop” type places, that are actually stepping in and giving real help to people in need.

Check out this article, titled : Comfort, joy and a free buffet. This was from the Northwest Herald, a newspaper that serves McHenry County, Illinois, and it was published December 26, 2009.

Mandile’s Restaurant, in Algonquin, is owned and run by the Mandile family. They opened up their buffet on Christmas Day, for free, for anyone who arrived, and was “economically challenged”. No proof was asked for, or needed. They simply asked people when they were coming, and how many people would be in their party. Nearly 200 hungry people were fed by volunteers that day, (seventeen of whom were members of the Mandile’s own family).

Why did the good people of Mandile’s Restaurant do this? Here’s some quotes from the article:

* The family’s patriarch, Carmine Mandile, said that as his family celebrated Thanksgiving this year, they reflected on the high unemployment rate and the lives that the sluggish economy was changing.

* “We got thinking about the people hit by the economy and what we could do,” he said.

So they decided to open their restaurant on Christmas Day, and feed 200 people in need. For free. Without asking for anything at all in return from them. Hungry people “enjoyed a feast of ham, turkey and all the trimmings, as well as a table full of homemade desserts.” That’s the right way to help people!

Now, if a small, family owned restaurant can give so much, at their own expense, to help people who might otherwise be starving on Christmas….. why can’t these big corporate owned chain restaurants do it too? It’s obvious that these huge chains can afford to do so, or at least would be better prepared to do so than one family who runs their own little restaurant. I guess the old saying is true: “Those who can give the most are the ones who have the least”.

If you happen to live near Algonquin, Illinois, and are looking for somewhere good to eat, I suggest stopping by Mandile’s restaurant. It’s time to support the smaller businesses who actually put in the time, effort, and expense to give something back to their communities. If you are going out to eat anyway, drive past one of the big chain restaurants that only cares about the money you carry in your wallets, and spend your hard earned cash in the “mom and pop” shops who see you as an actual person, instead.


23
Dec 09

Dyslexia and Starting Over

It’s official. I am unemployed, once again.

My part time job at an Answering Service has ended. No, it’s not because I was a “seasonal employee”. No, this company wasn’t being heartless and choosing to fire me right before Christmas. It’s not like that at all.

It turns out that working for an Answering Service is not something everyone is capable of doing. You may have an image in your head that all you have to do is answer the phone, and take down a message. I have learned that this is an extraordinarily simplistic concept of what a person who works at an Answering Service is required to do.

Everything is done through a computer, which means that one must push the correct combination of buttons to disconnect a call after someone hangs up, and a different combination of buttons to call out to someone to give them certain kinds of messages, and yet another entirely different combination of buttons to find out just who you are supposed to call in the first place. One must fill in the boxes on the screen with obvious things like the caller’s name, reason for the call, and a phone number that the client can reach them at to return their call, as you might assume. One must also fill in a multitude of boxes asking entirely different things, specific to the client’s needs. Some of the people whose calls we answer are doctors, who need us to page other doctors. In some cases, this may, potentially be, a life or death matter. I was never able to figure out all the buttons I should press, and in what sequence, to do this part well. It’s a much more stressful and complicated job than you might have thought it was, when you thought the job was about just answering the phones.

Oh, and just to clarify, this job did not involve sales, of any kind, at all. I mean, technically, the Answering Service must be doing some kind of sales in order to have clients sign up with them, of course. What I mean is that I wasn’t working as a “telemarketer” at this job. (I’ve done telemarketing in the past, more than once, absolutely hate doing it, and hope to never have to do it ever again in my life.)

Anyone can answer the phone, after all. Most everyone can take down a message with important details about the call. It turns out that not many people are able to do all the things involved in working for an Answering Service. For this reason, you do not simply show up at work on your first day and immediately get right on the phones. There is an extensive amount of training you receive first. Then, when the trainers feel you are ready, they put you on the phones with a trainer sitting next to you, listening in, and ready to jump in if a particular caller is difficult, or if you become unsure of what to say, to type, or to press. Eventually, you end up on the phones seated nearby one of the trainers, who is there to answer questions you might still have about how to do a particular thing, or for advice if you need a judgement call. Is this situation on the phone considered an emergency, or not? Sometimes that answer isn’t as obvious as you might think. After that, you are “on your own” on the phones (but still sitting right next to trainers, and still able to contact other workers for help right through the computer system itself). You aren’t simply abandoned to fend for yourself until you are truly equipped to handle things.

I heard from most of my coworkers that when they first went through the training they felt overloaded with information, every day, for quite a while. Many of them said that when they were being trained, they hit a point where they thought “I will never be able to do this”, and seriously considered quitting. The talked to me about what one thing made them completely nervous to the point where they were sweating when they first started working there. For some people, it was dealing with rude callers, who yelled at or cussed out the worker on the other end of the phone. Some people had specific combinations of buttons that they had trouble with, and they dreaded the situations where they knew they would have to use those buttons in that order. Lots of people told me, independent of each other, that when they first started answering the phones on their own (without the aide of a trainer) that they were “completely terrified”. But then, one day, everything “clicked”, and they just “got it”.

Many of my (now former) coworkers have been working there for years, and, for the most part, they like what they do. Lots of other people get overwhelmed and frustrated by the nature of the job, and end up quitting before they even get close to finishing training, or, shortly after they are “on their own” answering phones. Answering Services, as a whole, tend to have a high burn out rate, an a correspondingly high turn over rate.

Some of you reading this blog may be unaware that I am dyslexic. It was obvious to me when I applied for this job that I would be dealing with a lot of phone numbers, which tend to give me problems. I had a plan for that, however. I can use the “numberline” of numbers across the keyboard to type in the digits of a phone number, instead of the jumble of buttons on the side of the keyboard. This way, I can teach my hands the proximity of each where each number is, and hit the right one in the right order. It’s something like learning to play the piano, where you hands just have to learn where to find the keys. This company encourages all it’s workers to repeat the phone number back to the caller, which I also found helpful. It was a good way to avoid mistakes. I figured I could find other ways to work around my dyslexia, (to avoid spelling errors, and reading errors), as I learned the job. After all, my entire life is spent “learning” how to translate the world around me into something I can get my dyslexic brain to comprehend. Adapting to this job shouldn’t be that much of a problem, I figured.

What I did not know when I was hired, and what I couldn’t possibly know until I’d gone through at least part of the training was the sheer amount of data that my brain would be bombarded with each and every work shift. Phone numbers I had a plan for, and I can get pretty far figuring out how to spell caller’s names correctly with some other little tricks I use to unscramble words. These tricks, I have learned, do not work after a certain amount of time. My brain just gets too overwhelmed, and it becomes harder and harder to unscramble the gibberish parts of what is on the screen in front of me. I ended up mispronouncing the names of businesses, because it contained words that were new to me (like someone’s last name). I had a hard time finding the pager number of a doctor I was supposed to page, because in order to find it, I needed to be able to spell at least part of the doctor’s name correctly.

There was a certain combination of buttons to use to bring up a “directory” I could search through to find a doctor, or to find a list of people who worked for a certain company, and their corresponding contact numbers. One of those same buttons, and some new ones were used to bring up the “dial list”, which visually, looked a whole lot like the directory. One of the buttons from that combination brings up the “dialer”, which allows you call somebody outside of the office. It was too many D’s for my dyslexic brain to sort out, in the heat of the moment, while trying to get through a call.

Another problem I have as a dyslexic is learning new words. Sure, I sound educated and intelligent when you talk to me, or possibly when you read my writing. Show me a word that is new to me, such as somebody’s last name, however, and I become a first grader once again, slowing down to a crawl, concentrating, and attempting to “sound it out”, hoping that I am seeing the letters in the right order as I make my attempt. I thought at first that eventually, I would have learned all these new words, as I learned the last names of all the doctors, lawyers, and other clients that this answering service, well, serves, and that particular dyslexic problem would be a thing of the past. I also believed that even though I was having difficulty deciphering each new “script” for each individual client now, that eventually, I would have a mental picture in my head of each one, and this would all become easier.

This proved to be impossible, because it turns out that an answering service is not a static thing. It’s dynamic, and ever changing. New doctors are added to the lists of particular hospitals daily. Doctors are constantly changing who is on call, and who will take what other doctor’s patients. There wasn’t a way to generate a list of all their names for me to take home and study like a kid with a list of Spelling Words, the night before the Spelling Test.

All of the offices, be they for doctors, lawyers, plumbers, or anything else you can think of, were continually asking the company to change things. Could your operators ask the caller this? Make sure the operators are getting this specific piece of information now, that I didn’t ask you to have them get before. This meant the script for that client would change, and when you make a change to something visual, it makes me, the unfortunate dyslexic, start all over again, learning it from the beginning.

I was learning how to do this job right through the holiday season, which meant that all the offices were closing and opening at different times, and on different days than normal. I was constantly re-learning what to say when callers asked something as simple as “are they closed today?” Just when I managed to learn how to do calls for a particular client, it would change, an I’d end up making the same mistakes again that I had previously learned to stop making, as I tried to teach my brain what to do with this new script that looks different, and therefore, for a dyslexic brain, must be something entirely new.

It became obvious to my trainers, and the managers, that I was not doing well with this job. I wasn’t anywhere near where they wanted me to be, and no one knew why. I was open about the fact that I was dyslexic, but, this doesn’t do much good in an office full of people who barely recognize the word, who aren’t learning disabled in any way themselves, and who think that dyslexics look at a page of writing an the numbers jump up and run around like cartoon characters. I didn’t expect any of them to be skilled at training a dyslexic worker, but I did expect that I would be able to somehow find my own way to comprehend the data I was given. It didn’t work. I continued to make stupid mistakes that I should have outgrown, I continued to bombard my trainers with question after question about things I should have already learned how to do well, I was constantly having things sent back to me that I had done incorrectly. My husband works for this same company, and he was also noticing things I had screwed up in some way. One of the managers recently resorted to asking him if he could figure out what might work to train me. They had exhausted all their ideas at this point.

Eventually, I had to realize that despite my best efforts, and despite the best efforts of the entire training team at this answering service, I was simply not going to be able to do this job. I was beyond frustrated. It’s hard to give something your best effort, and still fail. It’s not easy to be slower at learning things than everyone around you, and expected to keep up with them. Being unable to do this job because my dyslexia was getting in the way made me feel like the one stupid kid in school who can’t get the math right, no matter how many times the teacher shows her how to work the problem. I had started to feel like the “slow kid” in class, once again. It’s frustrating and depressing to feel like this.

After much thought, and discussion with Shawn, I decided the best thing to do would be to go to the manager who was so perplexed by my lack of improvement, and explain things to her. It gets tiring to constantly have to educate the world around me about what dyslexia is, and how it affects my ability to process the world around me. Sometimes, people simply do not believe me when I tell them I am dyslexic. “But, you are so intelligent!” they exclaim, as if having high intelligence and having dyslexia are two concepts that are incapable of occurring in one human being at the same time. I think they mean this as a compliment, but it never feels like one. It feels like a nicer way to say “I don’t believe you are dyslexic”.

Fortunately, the manager was incredibly understanding about this. Like I said, it was obvious to her, (and the entire office, I’m sure), that I wasn’t doing well. Now, the mystery of why this was happening was solved. What could have been an extraordinarily uncomfortable conversation was rather pleasant. Well, as pleasant as a conversation where the boss and the employee openly come to the mutual conclusion that this employment relationship needs to end. I didn’t “quit”, and I didn’t “get fired”. I simply could not make it through the training, and that was that.

Fortunately, I started getting checks from the EDD for Unemployment Insurance days before I started working at this part time job at the answering service. I continued to get them, because I wasn’t getting enough hours to live on, and so, the Unemployment Insurance basically has you report how many hours you worked, and supplements it with an equally reduced check. In other words, I am not as screwed because I lost my job this time around as I was when the school district unceremoniously dumped me in September.


20
Dec 09

Oh, Really? Let’s Find Out!

Shawn was on ebay, and he saw this little ad:
monster

Monster.com is another site you can go to and search for a job. I’ve heard of it, but somehow, I never ended up going there to search for a job. I don’t know why I didn’t go there to look, since it is a popular site.

This little ad interests me. It implies that finding the “perfect” job on Monster is exactly as easy as finding the “perfect” item on ebay. Oh, really? I decided to test that implication.

It seems the first step I need to do is go to ebay , and figure out what the “perfect item” to search for would be.

Step One: Go to the main page of ebay. That was easy. There is a red button here that says “Sign In”. I don’t actually want to sign in. I prefer being able to have a look around at what a website has to offer before I sign up for whatever it is. So, I’m skipping that part.

Step Two: Figure out what the “perfect item” is that I want to search for. This is extremely subjective. The item I think of as “perfect” and want to search for is not likely to be the same item you think of as the “perfect” item you want to search for. And, tomorrow, or a week from now? I might have changed my mind, and the item that I considered “perfect” today will no longer fit that description. Hmmm… what to do?

There are a ton of categories to search through, and I think it’s going to be incredibly time consuming to randomly search around, hoping to happen upon the “perfect” item. Looks like I have to pick something. Ok, fine. For the purposes of this experiment, the “perfect item” is going to be a book. I’ve been looking for a copy of Anne McCaffrey’s “Masterharper of Pern”, in mass-market paperback size. I’ve got most of the series, and this one is next, and I cannot find it anywhere. So, this will be the “perfect” item I shall search for.

Step Three: Attempt to find the “perfect” item.
I found a category that says “Books”, so I clicked there. Easy! Oh, wait, not as easy. This brought me to a page with a billion sub-categories of books. What category would people who are selling this book place it under? I decided to click on “Fiction and Literature”, because “Fantasy” and “Science Fiction” are two separate categories in the world of ebay, and if I was in a bookstore, I would look for this book under the “Sci-Fi/Fantasy” section. Click!

This bring me to a page where I can see a big list with photos, and descriptions I can click on. It also says I have “942,095″ items to search through. Too many! Oh, wait… it looks like towards the top of the page there is a little space for me to put in a description, and it has already selected “Fiction and Literature” from the drop down list of items in the box next to it. I put “Anne McCaffrey Masterharper of Pern” in the empty box, and hit “enter”, hoping for the best.

“Safari can’t open the page”. Damn you, Safari! Damn you! I refresh the page, and see what happened to my search. It takes two refreshes to get me there.

There are exactly three items here that fit my search for the “perfect” item. That’s easy to sort through. Oh, wait…. under that is another category, that says there are fifteen items in the “ebay store”. What does that mean? I take a few minutes to look it over, and decide that the “ebay store” contains things I can buy right now, while the top three items are up for auction? Ok, that was a bit more confusing than I needed it to be.

Let’s see what these three items are. The very first one looks like exactly what I am looking for, so I click on it. It’s mass-market paperback, the cover looks like it pretty much matches the rest of the covers from the parts of the series that I already have. It says it costs $1.00, plus $3.75 shipping. Sounds good to me! I may have found the “perfect” item.

Step Four: Attempt to actually acquire the “perfect item”

I start by clicking on the bright blue “Buy It Now” button. This brings me to a nag screen. It seems on ebay I can look around all I like, but when I decide to buy something, it wants me to do some extra steps and sign up. Not unexpected, but still displeasing. I have two options here. I can either make an account with ebay, or, I can click on the button that says “Guest Checkout”. The gods of ebay allow one to “make your first purchase as a guest shopper”. Click!

“Welcome Guest, please enter your contact information below. Until you complete payment, another eBay user may purchase this item.” I can click on a link to “learn more”. Someone else can buy it out from under me? I’m not liking that too much. What if I give you all my information, and somebody else buys it before I get done? Ok, granted, there isn’t going to be a run on Fantasy books written over a decade ago, but still!

It only takes a minute to fill in all the boxes of information they want from me. That wasn’t so bad. Until it bounces back, and tells me that I haven’t filled in my telephone number, which, I did. I can see it right there on the screen! This is not so easy after all. Oh, wait, maybe it’s because I filled in xxxx where it wanted an extension number, because I don’t have an extension. Click! It works!

I am now on the payment option screen, where it wants me to log into my Pay Pal account. I can’t remember how much money is in there at the moment. It take a minute to go search around to find my password, and then I hit enter. Now it wants a credit card, “just in case” my Pay Pal account payment doesn’t get to them. You know what? The hell with this! I’m canceling. Too many steps.

Finding the “perfect” item on ebay wasn’t too hard. Actually going through all the steps to get it was aggravating! So much so that I simply stopped filling things out, and, essentially, canceled the order. I would not describe this experience as “easy”.

Let’s see what happens on Monster, when I attempt to find the “perfect” job.

Step One: Go to the main page of Monster. There is a giant box in the middle of the screen telling me I can try out their “Power Search Beta” whatever that might be. No, thanks. At the top of the page are two boxes I can type words into to have Monster do some searching for me. One says “Enter Keywords” and gives examples. The other says “Enter Location” which can be “city, state, or zip code”. So far, this is easier to navigate than ebay’s first screen was.

Step Two: Figure out what the “perfect” job is that I want to search for. Again, the criteria for this is as subjective is it was for the “perfect” item. What’s the “perfect” job? Your answer to this question will likely be different from mine. The box I can type into suggests terms like “nurse”. Hmm.. guess I can’t just type in something like “Stay at home, flexible hours, writing blogs, for full time pay, and benefits”. Damn!

I currently have a part time job, which I am liking enough to stay there for a while. So, for the purposes of this experiment, I am going to search for a freelance writing job, and consider this to be my “perfect” job. Let’s see what happens!

Step Three: Attempt to find the “perfect” job.

I go to the box of keywords, and type “freelance writer”. Considering how much writing takes place online now, do I really need to type a location into the second box? I think not. I click the little box that says “search”. And, we’re off!

There are “263″ items that have appeared. I like that I can scroll the mouse over each one, and read the little window that pops up, and gives me a description. This is an improvement on ebay, where you must click on each and every separate thing to get a description of the item. Also, I’d like to note that Monster did not crash my browser (twice) before letting me see what my search criteria gleaned from it’s resources.

I notice that these jobs are not listed by date, meaning that the most recently listed is not on top. I prefer seeing the newest ones first, so, I click the box that says “date”. Monster magically re-arranges the jobs for me. It doesn’t crash my browser this time, either.

Let’s see what we have here. The first job wants an “Investment Writer”, which I do not have the skills to do. Honestly, do you want to listen to the writings of a dyslexic stock analyst? I didn’t think so. The next twenty two listings are exactly the same, except for the location. This company wants “writer/photographers” local to particular areas. Only one of these places happens to be in California, where I live, but it is far, far, away from me. (At least, I think so. I know it’s not someplace I could easily drive to). The next listing wants a “Web Content Writer” for “downtown Baltimore”. This is followed by a listing for the same company, that now wants an “Interactive copywriter” who lives in Plano, Texas. Nope! Too far away for me to even consider. The last job on this page of twenty five listings is from the same company that listed itself twenty two times on the page already. It wants a “writer/photographer” who lives in Jackson Mississippi.

Not one of these jobs fits the description of “perfect” I had in mind. Page two is filled with that same company again, looking for “writer photographers” for everywhere but where I live. The center of the page has an internal advertisement, suggesting I should get a degree, or perhaps give up on my “perfect” job and consider becoming a nurse instead. Page three has twenty five more listings for the exact same company that spammed up the first two pages. A few of these listings are in California, but the nearest one is still a couple of hours away from me (one way). I notice the internal ad embedded in the middle of this page is telling me, again, that I should get a degree, or else, it suggests I should go do a job listed as “retail” in another town that is several hours away from me. I have hit my personal “frustration point” with this whole experiment. I am now giving up on Monster dot com.

In Conclusion:
Finding the “perfect” item on ebay was not exactly easy. I had to jump through several hoops to find it, and then I would have had to jump through several more hoops to actually get it. Finding the “perfect” job on Monster was impossible. Nothing in the first four pages of my search showed me what I was looking for. None of it’s listings were even close to my idea of the “perfect” job.

Of course, much of this experiment was subjective in nature, and your results may vary.


18
Dec 09

Attention Holiday Shoppers!

There is a reason why you have been frustrated in your attempts to wrangle a sales clerk to help you finish your Christmas shopping this Holiday season. It’s the same reason why your waitress seems to be helping too many tables at the same time, why the lines in the Post Office seem so long, and why that gift your ordered might arrive later than you were led to believe.

U.S. jobless claims reported higher for second straight week , says a headline from Market Watch, which seems to be some part of The Wall Street Journal. This unnerving article was posted on December 17, 2009.

In short, the article says that despite expectations that jobless claims would go down in the past few weeks, they have been instead been going up. I find this terrifying.

There were nine more days until Christmas when this article was posted. Most people are aware that the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are when stores make the most sales. So many sales, that in the past, stores that weren’t quite “making plan” would be able to suddenly get out of the red and into the black, so to speak, right before Christmas. This is the time of year when people feel compelled to purchase many gifts for their family members, friends, co-workers, the children of all these people, and also their hairdresser, the person who delivers their mail, and whoever takes care of their children while they are at work. It’s the time of year when you see the people that you love, but don’t get to see very often, and you all go to dinner somewhere, and then to see a movie, have a few drinks at a bar, and maybe go attend the local holiday events. This is the time of year when stores that sell gift cards sell the most of them. These few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are the biggest days for Capitalism of the entire year!

If I am understanding this article correctly, it is saying that a bunch of people lost their jobs in the first two weeks of December. This means that companies are cutting their “seasonal employees” right after those employees help get them through Black Friday, the biggest sales day of the year. This means that there a whole lot of people who were employed in November suddenly found themselves unemployed just a few weeks before Christmas. Shame on you, all you selfish, evil, businesses and corporations that are guilty of treating people as if they are disposable!

Last year, I was working for a large retail corporation. It was no secret that the company I worked for decided it would be best for them if they simply did not hire ANY “seasonal employees” that year. They are not the only large corporation who chose that path at that time. I can tell you from my own experiences just how difficult it was to work someplace that neglected to hire extra people to help with all the extra traffic.

It seems that many businesses looked back on last year’s Holiday Season, and realized that simply expecting current employees to take on a ton of extra work, (for no extra pay), doesn’t actually go very well. I assume they found it annoying when employees called in sick after going through weeks of complete and utter exhaustion. I bet they were irritated that they didn’t make their (incredibly outrageous) “sales plan”, and decided it must be because those lazy employees didn’t manage to get all the kitchy little Christmas items out of the stock room and onto the sales floor as fast enough.

This year, it seems like places hired people just long enough to physically move their holiday stock onto the sales floor, and then took away their jobs. “Thanks for helping us make money! Now, get the hell out!”

Here is a quote from this article that I find especially troubling:

* “The numbers will be erratic from now through mid-January because of the holiday seasonals, and in the meantime we aren’t going to get too excited by a few odd-looking weeks,” said Ian Shepherdson, chief U.S. economist at High Frequency Economics.

So, in other words, we can all expect to see even more people lose their jobs as we get closer to Christmas, and then, some more people to lose their jobs in mid-January, after the peak of people returning unwanted or wrong-sized Christmas presents levels off. But, we as a nation apparently are not supposed to “get too excited” about that! I suppose that it’s easy to not “get too excited” about the expectation of the jobless rates going up if you happen to be “chief U.S. economist at High Frequency Economics”, and not someone working for minimum wage, living paycheck to paycheck, praying your job isn’t one of those about to disappear in the next few weeks. Now, we are expected to somehow not “get too excited” about soon potentially becoming one of these sad statistics.

I, for one, am wondering if the part-time job I picked up at the end of October is actually considered “seasonal”. If I do happen to lose my current job, I won’t be a part of that expected statistic of people who will lose their jobs in the month or so. Why not? Well, because I got on Unemployment Insurance late September 2009. I am still getting checks from the EDD because my current job is simply not enough to sustain me right now on it’s own. When you hear about the number of new jobless claims that it seems is going to rise soon, keep in mind all those hidden unemployed and underemployed people who aren’t being counted anymore. Things are a whole lot worse than those number are making it seem, and it looks like it’s about to get even more desperate.

But don’t “get too excited” about that.


16
Dec 09

Need Free Wi Fi?

It’s getting close to Christmas. If you are unemployed, or underemployed, you might find that the postal cost of sending out all those Christmas cards is just more than your budget will allow right now. Sending an email is free, but, you need internet access for that, and paying for access to the internet at your house might be another extra expense you can’t afford right now either.

What to do?

Well, if you happen to have an iphone, or a laptop with wi-fi, (likely purchased before you had the slightest inkling that you were about to lose your job), then you are in luck!

Here is a short list of stores that offer free wi-fi. Go there, log on, send a holiday greeting in the form of email to your loved ones! Send them one of the many Christmas related shiny objects found in the many apps on facebook. Let them know you are still alive, and doing fine (well, except for that little problem of not having a job).

* Barnes & Noble
I found this on their own website. It actually says “No fees. No charges. Just log on.” Of course, you have to have your own laptop, because Barnes & Noble has never offered computers for customers to use.

This is somewhat new, because I know for a fact that Barnes & Noble used to use AT&T for as their wi-fi provider, and AT&T would charge people to use it. But now? It seems to be free. Give it a try! Just don’t sit in their cafe and do it, unless you continually make purchases of coffee and pastries from the cafe, or you run the risk of getting kicked out of the cafe. The wi-fi may be free, but, seems you need to “pay rent” to use the cafe chairs and tables.

* Apple Retail Stores

If you happen to have an iphone, you get access to free wi-fi automatically, as soon as you walk into any Apple Retail Store. Nice!

What if you don’t have an iphone? Well… the Apple Retail Stores are set up for people to come in and play around with and “test out” their computers. Look around, and you are likely to see ten year olds logging on to stupid game sites, and challenging each other to a grudge match, using the Apple Store’s demo computers.

What harm could it be to log into your hotmail account, and send a quick email to Mom and Dad, letting them know that you aren’t dead yet, (but still unemployed)? I wouldn’t make a practice of using their computers that way, but, desperate times call for desperate measures. And, it’s legal!

* McDonalds

McDonalds offers free wi-fi at 1200 locations in the UK. Go in, order yourself a Big Mac or something, sit down, and log on.

Starting in January 2010, McDonalds will offer free wi-fi for it’s stores in the USA, as well. It’s not in time for Christmas this year, but still, is something to keep in mind.

So, if you can stand to be at a McDonalds, with the strange grease smell, and the gaggle of loud and unattended children and tween-agers, you can get free wi-fi! Just make sure you check the table closely for cleanliness before you put your lap top into a mess. It goes without saying that McDonalds is NOT going to supply it’s customers with computers to use. Even if they did though, who would want to touch those? I picture them covered in ketchup.

* Starbucks

Starbucks is sort of offering free wi-fi. They want you to purchase one of their gift cards, and register it online, first. Then, (if you continue to use your registered gift card at least once a month), you get two hours of free wi-fi, each and every day. So, if you are unemployed, but still getting your Starbucks fix anyway, it makes sense to get yourself a gift card, register it, and use that when you come in. Then you can drink your coffee or frap, and surf the net for two hours each and every day.

On the other hand, if you don’t happen to like Starbucks, and you hardly ever go there… this offer isn’t going to do much for you. And, once again, you need to bring your own laptop and/or iphone with you to use the free wi-fi.

* Here is a lovely list of more stores that offer free (or almost free) wi-fi. You can click around on it to find more details. There is also a link called “Return to Directory States List” (at the bottom of the page) that will allow you to look at a list of places with free wi-fi just for your state.

You can also search a list for:
Europe
Canada
Caribbean, Mexico, Central and South America
The Middle East and Africa
Asia
or
Australia, New Zealand, and The South Pacific

* One more idea: Most Public Libraries have computers that they allow patrons to use. You will have to check in your area to find out if details on that such as if you must have a library card before you can use one, if it is free, or if it actually is connected to the internet.

Know of another store that offers free wi-fi? Leave a comment in the blog, for everybody who comes along to check out.


13
Dec 09

No Christmas Bonus

Gotta love the Texts From Last Night blog:
Picture 1

Somebody out there was dreaming when they wrote that text.

I have not received a Christmas Bonus from the EDD as part of my Unemployment Insurance. Pretty sure they don’t give those out. Instead, I got something almost as good. My check from the EDD arrived in the mail, today, Saturday December 12, 2009.

Attached to it is another one of those “Continued Claim” forms. This claim form is for the week ending today, December 12, 2009, and also for next week, ending December 19, 2009. At the top, is a little perforated part detailing how much money I was getting from the EDD for each of the two weeks this check is covering.

It also has been giving me a “countdown” of sorts, letting me know exactly how much money I have left before my Unemployment Insurance runs out. It also tells me exactly what day in 2010 that my claim “expires”. I wonder what happens if the money runs out before the claim expires, or, if the claim expires before the money runs out? What then? That’s a worry for another day, I suppose.

It seems to me that these checks from the EDD are arriving quicker and quicker each time. Is the EDD getting more efficient about sending these to me, or, is my perception skewed since I got a part time job that fills up some of my time? Let’s see:

I applied for Unemployment Insurance on September 25, 2009.
* The first check took 38 days to arrive. (I’m still angry about that.) It arrived on November 2, 2009.
* The second check arrived on November 9, 2009. This one arrived in about 8 days.
* The third check arrived on November 16, 2009. This one arrived in about 7 days.
* The fourth check arrived on November 30, 2009. This one arrived in about 14 days. (This matches the two week period the “Continued Claim” forms are all set up for).
* This new check, the fifth check, arrived today, December 12, 2009. So, this one arrived in about 12 days.

This means that the checks from the EDD aren’t actually arriving any faster than before. It does mean they are getting more regular. Every two weeks (or there about) a check arrives, with another one of those two week claim forms. They aren’t arriving faster. It just feels like it because I have a part time job now, which is filling up a lot of my time. I am no longer stalking the postman every day, hoping against hope that he or she is bringing me some money to help me pay my bills.

I am finding that being underemployed is way less stressful than being completely unemployed.


12
Dec 09

Tweet Your Way To Employment

I know, I know, the title of this blog sounds like one of those advertisement/ scams that you see online all the time. It’s a slightly more modern version of those “work from home and make billions of dollars” scams. However, it seems that using Twitter actually did get one guy a job. Check out this article from MSNBC:

“Who needs a resume? Tweet earned him A job” is the title of this article. It was posted December 11, 2009.

The story is a simple one. BFG Communications wanted to hire someone for a “Social Media” position. Instead of asking people to fill out applications, or send them resumes, BFG went on Twitter, and asked for a tweet. The belief was that people who were already using Twitter would have a more innate grasp of not only what “Social Media” is, but how to use it well.

The guy who got the job was Hal Thomas, who sent BFG a tweet that not only said something positive about BFG, but also linked to his blog, and to a photo of a mock magazine cover he designed. The article goes on to say that this made Mr. Thomas stand out more than the other people who sent tweets to BFG, and so, he got the job.

I both love and hate articles like this one. On the one hand, it’s pretty darn cool that somebody actually got a job at a major company simply by using Twitter. That’s pretty exciting! This article makes me feel like maybe, in the future, the application and interview process involved to get a job will be as simple for everyone as it was in this particular case. Perhaps Twitter could potentially become as valid a way to search for a job as, I don’t know, Craigslist, at least.

On the other hand, I am a realist. The article itself states:

* “Few employers are going to follow BFG’s example.”

This article doesn’t tell me any of the details about the “Social Media” position offered by BFG. I suppose I could do some clicking around and google searching, to see if I can find out more about it. But, I’m not going to bother, and neither are most of the people who read this article. I’d like to believe that this job found through the power of Twitter is a good one, with a decent salary, paid sick days, lots of vacation time, and access to a great health insurance plan. There is no proof of this, however. What if this job is more like one of those unpaid internships? I will never know. I want to believe it’s a “real” job, but, the cynic in me wonders if this might not have been more of a publicity stunt instead.

Before you start sending out tweets to every company you can find on Twitter, keep this important detail in mind: ONE guy got a job this way. One!


8
Dec 09

Feeling Judged

There is something strange about filling out another “Continued Claim” form from the EDD while having a part time job. Again, it was supposed to be mailed on Sunday, December 6th, 2009, which is impossible. The US Post Office still doesn’t mail on Sundays, that never changes. The form, of course, got mailed Monday, December 7th 2009 instead.

These claim forms always make me feel as if I am being judged. Did I work, or was I too sick? How many days was I sick? It feels like the EDD is already assuming that I am an extremely lazy person, who will “fake” being sick, so as to avoid working at the part time job I managed to find. They’re assuming that I will intentionally skip work in favor of lying on the couch, and waiting for my “free money” to arrive in the mailbox. In reality, I am going to my part time job several days a week, getting training that is difficult and sometimes overwhelming.

The claim forms ask if I “continued to look for work”. I find this insulting. Yes, I looked for work, found the part time job I have now, and am doing all I can “looking” for more hours there. I continue to browse the job listings on Craigslist, and SLOJobs continues to send me daily emails with suggestions of crappy part time jobs, (almost always in sales), that it’s algorithms think would be good for me. Not one thing I have found while “continuing to look” looks like something that will work for me, or that is sustainable.

Almost all these jobs are part time, the same as what I have now. In this economy, with the highest unemployment rate in decades, I am extremely lucky to have found any job at all, even a part time one. I resent the EDD, and it’s implication that the work I did to get this job, and the work I am doing each day I go in for more training, is somehow not good enough.

I am required to list precisely how many hours I worked for each week that the claim form is covering. I must put the name of the business there as well. This makes me feel like the EDD has the right and the power to check up on me in great detail, and judge if what it finds is worthy enough for me to continue to get the financial assistance that, frankly, I am due. I earned this money by working, almost non-stop, since I was fifteen years old. The government took some of the money I earned out of each and every paycheck, for me to use, “someday” if I became unemployed. “Someday” is today. Stop judging me, EDD.

Being on Unemployment Insurance while I have a part time job almost feels like a “dirty little secret”. In my mind, I feel like if my coworkers knew that I was still getting checks from the EDD to supplement my income, that maybe a few of them might feel like I was “cheating” somehow. After all, I’m not exactly “unemployed” anymore, if I have a part time job, and everyone knows that there are so many other people out there that weren’t able to even find that.

I cannot help that I lost my job. I cannot (yet) change that I am not getting enough hours at my new job to allow me to pay my bills. I’m doing everything I can to learn as much as I can from each day of training I work through, but, until that training is over, I cannot pick up extra hours. It’s simply not enough to live on yet, as is, without the money from the EDD to help. I’m following all the rules, but still, I feel like I should try and keep the unemployment insurance checks “on the down low”. It’s frustrating, and annoying, to feel judged for something I did not cause, and cannot change.

This year for Christmas, I want nothing more than to be employed full time, with consistent enough hours so that I can break free of the EDD, and all of it’s complications. This isn’t going to happen in time for Christmas this year. Perhaps by Christmas of 2010, things will be better.