12
Jan 10

Art of Unemployment

I am using my writing to deal with the struggle involved with being unemployed. Writing is not the only coping mechanism one can use, however. There is Art!

Check out the Jacob Heftmann Archive blog. Designer Jacob Heftmann has been making some very interesting graphics about his experiences as he tries to find employment. He is calling it “The Job Application Process”. One image shows how many applications he has sent out, compared to how many responses he has gotten, in the form of a bar graph. Simple images that speak volumes!

I hope this talented designer finds a great job, really soon.

There has been a small change to the Between Gigs blog. As of last night, there is now a “Tip Jar” attached. If you like what you read, and want to show your appreciation in a financial way, you can click on the link that says “Pages”, and follow it to the Tip Jar page. Send your small change to an unemployed blogger! (There is also a link there to my Amazon Wish List, if you happen to want to take a look at that.) I do not intend to mention the Tip Jar every post, or anything like that, but, I thought it was a good idea to announce it’s existence.


11
Jan 10

Thinking About Job Stability

When I was in college, I went to school full time, and worked several part time jobs at once, in an effort to survive. I knew that I was good at working with children, and I was going to school to get a teaching degree, so I started working at several different day care centers. (And a few telemarketing places, and random summer jobs as needed). I believed that the jobs as a “teacher” at the day care centers would be good to put on a resume, and that this would eventually help me get a “real job” as a teacher.

One day care center refused to hire me for part time work because I hadn’t taken enough “Early Childhood Education” classes to please them. It seemed my efforts towards a B.S. in Education were not good enough, especially once they found out I was specializing in Art. The day care center that shared the same building with them wasn’t happy that I was still a student, because I couldn’t work for them Monday through Friday, with completely open availability. Instead, I worked for both places as a Substitute day care teacher. I never knew when I would be called to work, and there was no way to predict how much work I would get. I had to keep working weekends as a tele-marketer, desperately trying not to starve to death.

Luck smiled upon me one summer, and I was offered a job as a teacher. It was almost full time work, which allowed me to quit working telemarketing. The job ended when the new semester started, and the day care center decided it was easier for them to hire a few part time college students than to work around my new class schedule. I eventually found another teaching job, at a newer day care center, that would work around my classes. I remember working ten and twelve hour days, and convincing the director to pay me hourly to paint brightly colored child-centric murals on the bare classroom drywall. The problem was that the pay was much too low to live on.

I spent a semester doing Student Teaching, one of the most intense, emotional, stressful, perplexing, terrifying, and exhilarating things a person who wants to be a teacher can experience. It took all day, five days a week, starting hours before school began, and ending hours after the dismissal bell rang, (and the janitors kicked me out). More hours were spent creating lesson plans, preparing art materials, and grading endless art projects. In other words, Student Teaching was an unpaid internship, of sorts, except that I was required to do it if I wanted to graduate, and I was paying a whole lot of money for the privilege. Once it was over, I was exhausted, and wanted a break from teaching. Could I really live like that, for years and years, until I was old enough to retire? I believed teaching would kill me long before then.

After graduation, I did what the young character in the movie “Up In the Air” did, and “followed a boy” to a city somewhat far away from the college town where we met, fell in love, and lived together. He had been working for a hospital the entire time I was student teaching, and had grown tired of the long commute. There just so happened to be a day care center at the hospital, where the doctors and nurses could take their children while they were working. I was right back in day care, but that was ok, because it was a stable job situation. The pay was higher than any of the day care centers I had previously worked in. I had health insurance for the first time in my entire life, paid sick days, paid vacation days, and even a 403B fund, to help me plan for retirement. I finally had job stability! I could quit worrying now, right?

Wrong. The day care center had a quirky way of sending people home as soon as a certain number of children were picked up for the night. The hospital would then subtract the same amount of hours from our vacation pay, but not pay us for those hours, which always seemed less than legal to me. The secretary in charge of deciding which teachers got sent home, and which ones got to stay and earn money would keep her friends, and send home everybody else first. She decided she didn’t like me, and I was right back to not being able to count on a regular paycheck.

At the same time, my relationship with the boyfriend imploded, and we went through what would have been called a divorce, if we had ever gotten married in the first place. I moved out, stuck at this dreadful job, while everything else got sorted out. One of my closest relatives was dying, and, when the secretary at the day care center refused to allow me to have time off so I could go visit, I quit the job. I used the last of my health insurance to get an official health exam, including a drug test, and sent the paperwork and a resume to the school district in my hometown. I was moving back there to be closer to my family. I had no job, no reason to expect the school district was hiring, and no idea where I was going to live. But, I believed this unsure situation was only temporary. I was about to use the big expensive college degree I worked so hard to get, and become a teacher. This would solve everything. After all, the old saying was “if nothing else works out, you can always teach”. Things would get better.

What followed was four years working as a Substitute Teacher for the same school district I attended as a student. I never knew when I would be offered work, or where, or how much. This made it impossible to make a budget, and it was always a guess if I would have enough money to pay my bills with. I ended up supplementing, at first by working an overnight job stocking shelves at a retail store two nights a week, until, several months later, I became so sleep deprived that I was damn near delirious. I no longer had health insurance, or paid sick days, or any vacation days, and there certainly wasn’t any offer to help me finance my retirement. I ended up working for an after school program, and trying to stretch the hours they offered me over the summer into something I could potentially live on.

The reason I continued this mad lifestyle was because of a promise. I was told in college that working as a Substitute Teacher was a great way to get a job in a school district. When positions opened up, they would want to give the jobs to the people who they were familiar with, who had already proven themselves competent and reliable. Instead, I watched the schools cut Art position after Art position, and learned that I had the wrong degree to be offered any other kind of teaching job. (Unless, of course, I wanted to pay more money and go back to school). I’d been led to believe that the expensive degree I had framed, and hanging on my wall was a “Golden Ticket” to a good, stable, job. Instead, I learned it wasn’t even worth the paper it was printed on.

An odd series of events led me to apply for a retail job, for a big chain store that was opening up a new store nearby. I never expected to get the job, because I had very little retail experience, and all of it was years and years ago. Instead, I got hired part time. I was able to quit the after school job, but had to continue working as a Substitute Teacher. I was making a higher hourly wage at the retail job than I was able to make at the after school job.

This company offered paid sick days, paid vacation days, health insurance (with dental and eye care), and even a 401K, but only to full time workers. As soon as a position opened up, I stepped in, “volunteering” to do some of the tasks that weren’t getting done since the previous worker quit. I ended up getting that job, and was told by the store manager that he wasn’t even considering me for the job until he noticed what a hard worker I was.

I quit the dead end job as a Substitute Teacher immediately. I wasn’t teaching, but that was ok. Working as a Substitute Teacher felt more like babysitting than teaching, and I was constantly getting sick, and couldn’t afford to go to the doctor, or take a day off to get better. I finally had a stable job that I didn’t need to supplement with a second one. I was making enough money to get a mortgage, and begin working my way towards owning a condo. I had fallen in love again, and Shawn and I got married. When we decided to move across the country, I was able to transfer my full time job (and all it’s benefits) from one state to another, with very few missed work days in between.

And then, of course, things changed. The company that I started working for was no longer interested in education, and community outreach, and instead focused all its energy on sales. Nothing else mattered. When the economy got bad, this company promptly cut all the titles of the full time workers. There was no longer a reasonable expectation that I would continue to get full time work. Managers were encouraged to cut as many hours as possible, and then to cut even more. Employees who worked for this company for many more years than I did went from having forty hours one week, to being given five hours the next. Everyone’s hours got cut, but the workload didn’t, and the addition of a new district manager made everyone completely miserable.

This job was killing more than my soul, it was also screwing with my health. I got injured (tendonitis) more than once, from lifting stock. The added stress meant that my body could no longer stand the amount of dust I was breathing in daily, and I needed a second, and then a third allergy medication to get through the day. It was time to get out.

By now, I had started writing. I had a completed second draft of a book all ready to go, and I had published my first book of poetry. I started writing for a website that paid writer for articles they wrote, but, none of this amounted to enough to live on. I wanted a stable job. I wanted access to health care!

I ended up finding a job as a paraeducator in a Special Needs classroom for the local school district. It offered health care, paid sick days, paid vacation days, and a retirement fund. I was in a union now, and I believed this would help keep the workplace from screwing me over. I was working less hours than I had to at the retail job. I had lots of days off. I knew, for a fact, that I would never work weekends ever again. I had summers off, (with the possibility of working summer school). What I believed was a stable job disappeared in the blink of an eye, and that is how I ended up writing this blog.

What did I learn? That “job stability” doesn’t exist anymore. I learned that I can exist without access to health care, and pray that my husband and I will continue to be reasonably healthy, so we won’t become bankrupt from a hospital visit. I learned that jobs that are willing to offer health care, paid days off, retirement plans, and all the other stuff I wanted so badly when I was in college are few and far between now. And yet, I am not yet homeless. I am surviving.

Years ago, I considered trying to focus on my writing, to see if I could live off of it. I was always afraid to do it, though, because freelance work seemed so risky. What if I couldn’t find enough jobs? What if not enough of them hired me? Did I really want to go back to scrounging around for work, desperate to pay the bills, like I spent my college years doing? In the past, it always seemed like a stupid idea, to spend time looking for freelance work, that could never be anything more than a gamble.

Well, guess what? Every single job out there right now is a gamble. All of them! Nobody is safe. The concept of a “stable job” no longer exists. I have decided it’s time for me to give this writing thing a try, now that there is nothing to lose. Yes, it’s possible that I won’t find enough freelance work to sustain me. But, its equally possible that I won’t find enough of a “real job” to sustain me either, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.

Time to jump in, and find out if I sink of swim. I’ve applied to not one, but two want ads asking for freelance writers so far. Let’s see what happens.

Time to swim.


09
Jan 10

Spam and Craigslist

Once again, I find myself browsing sites that have job listings, searching for something that would be good for me. This feels like starting over at the beginning, and also feels like the start of something brand new.

There have been some significant changes to the local Craigslist lately. Before, I would go to this website, click “jobs”, and a page full of listings, starting with the most recent, would appear. Not anymore! There is now a page that appears first, which says “SCAM alert!”

“SCAM ALERT – affiliate scammers are posting bogus ads promising (nonexistent!) employment, paid research trials, or other compensation, but then notifying repliers that they’ll need to jump through a hoop first, directing them to:

*background checking services
*credit checking or reporting sites
*sites where you are instructed to enter your resume or other personal information
*sites where you are asked to sign up for a “free” trial offer
*sites offering training or education
*sites offering a “system” for making money
*survey or focus group sites
*sites designed to deliver malware or misuse your identifying information

all in hopes of earning affiliate marketing commissions or otherwise profiting at the expense of persons seeking employment.”

Craigslist then goes on to tell you that there are many variations on these scams, and warns that many of them offer nonexistent compensation. This means that at the bottom of the ad, the little part that says “Compensation” is left blank, or has some ridiculous description meant to confuse a person about how much the job is paying. Under that is advice on how to mess with the spammers, by reporting their affiliate link, and then there is the link you need to click on to actually look at the job listings.

I find this troubling. Recently, I noticed that some of the job listings were posted by job searchers, as a warning to the rest of us about specific scams they were aware of. These posters were saying that we, the job hunters, needed to band together, and flag all the job ads that were obviously spam. Many of the posters felt that Craigslist wasn’t bothering to weed out the spammers, and people had gotten tired of seeing listing after listing of jobs that weren’t really jobs in the first place. Perhaps this new screen that pops up before you can look at the jobs is Craigslist’s way of responding to the complaints.

There was an ongoing… “conversation”, for lack of a better word, about an job listing for laborers. Whomever placed the ad wanted to hire skilled electricians and carpenters at what many people felt was an insultingly low price. There were angry comments suggesting that the person who wrote the ad should go do the work themselves, because no one who actually spent the time and effort to become a skilled electrician or skilled carpenter was ever going to accept a job that payed as little as that one did.

There were comments about the belief that the ad writer was intending to avoid hiring workers who were in a union, and hoping to find some workers on Craigslist that he could pay “under the table” (at a much lower rate). Many comments mentioning how sleazy this employer was to decide it was ok to do such nefarious (and potentially illegal) hiring practices followed. Comments about how people like this anonymous employer were the reason it was so hard to find a decent job right now. The general belief was that now that the economy was so bad, it gave despicable and dishonest people an opening to cause harm to their fellow man, by refusing to pay someone what the years of their skill and experience was actually worth. There was much speculation about if this is how things would be from now on.

Another chain of comments stemmed from a different job that was a scam. Somebody posing as a realtor wanted to hire people to go around to specific properties, and take a bunch of photos of those properties from different angles. The pay was not clearly listed. Instead, there was some mention about how a person would get paid a certain dollar amount for each property they take photos of. On paper, it sounded like easy work.

But then, the comments rolled in. People found they were having problems getting paid from this realtor, once they turned in the requested photos. Soon, they placed their own ads about this job, with the words “SPAM ALERT” in the title. There were comments stating that it was impossible to make any money from this because the properties were located “all over the hills”, and that you would spend more on the gas it took to drive to them than you would be able to make in the job itself. People found that some of their photos were rejected, which meant they spent the gas to get to the property, and the time it took to get the photos to the realtor and got absolutely nothing in return. After that, comments flooded in pointing out that this particular realtor wasn’t using his or her own license number, and there was something fishy about the fact that they were using a bank account under a different name, or something to that effect.

Spammers make me angry! There are more unemployed people right now than there has been in a long time, (or maybe ever, I don’t know). To prey on the desperation of people who are just trying to find a way to pay their bills before the lights get turned off, or they lose the house is nothing more than pure evil. It is good that Craigslist has started to point out to people how to spot Job Spam, and what to do about it, because I believe this will cut down on the number of people who unknowingly send a bunch of personal information to what they think is a potential employer. It makes me sad that things have come to this, however. I lose a little faith in humanity when I see things like this.

Now, I am pretty good at spotting spam (see previous blogs where I harassed a spam artist who posted a fake job on Craigslist), so I have continued to use it to hunt for jobs. So, I am not saying avoid using Craigslist at all costs. I looked around a bit at Craigslists that were for other cities, and noticed that not all of them needed the warning screen to be put in place before you can see the jobs. Perhaps some places actually do have honest, real, employers existing there, wanting to hire workers. The main point I am trying to make with this blog today is this: Beware! You can’t trust everything you read on the internet, and this includes what may look like a potential job.


05
Jan 10

Up In the Air

I recently went to the movie theater, (something that is a rare event in my life lately), and watched the movie “Up In the Air”.
up-in-the-air-movie

I knew nothing about the film before I saw it, except for the fact that some good friends of mine were interested in seeing it, and that it starred George Clooney. These particular friends and I share similar tastes in books and movies, so I knew that if they were interested in this movie that I would like it, too. George Clooney is a fine actor, and also very attractive, which meant that if nothing else, I knew I could count on about two hours of sitting down and watching George Clooney on the big screen. Works for me.

Up-in-the-Air-premiere

Nathan Lott has a wonderful review of the movie “Up In the Air” on his Rental Reviews podcast. Check it out! It was done by Shawn. You can also watch the movie trailer there.

It turns out that “Up In the Air” is the quintessential movie reflecting the reality of what so many people have been experiencing in the past year or so. Which makes it kind of heartbreaking to watch, if you happen to be unemployed, like me.

There is this scene right at the beginning of the film that was extremely vivid. It’s a montage of people who are seated at a conference table, and speaking to a person who is located just off screen. One by one, each person reacts to something they have just been told, which we, the audience, did not get to hear. All of a sudden, it becomes clear that these people, all of them, are reacting to being told that “their position is no longer available”, that they have been “fired”, that they have “lost their job”.

Watching this scene made me forget to breathe for a while, which I didn’t realize until I got that slightly painful feeling in my chest one gets from holding their breathe for too long. My whole body tensed up, just like it did when I first understood that I had lost my job as a paraeducator, back in September. This was all involuntary. My first conscious thought was: “Oh, crap! I’m unemployed, and I’m watching a movie about people getting fired!”

The scene was over and done with in just a few moments. The director used that short span of time extremely well to convey the wide range of emotions people feel when they come to work one day, only to get taken by surprise when they discover that this was their very last day of employment.

Some of the newly unemployed people on the screen look shocked and stunned, as if they had just survived a car accident, and still aren’t quite sure about what, exactly, just happened to them. They haven’t caught up to the reality of the situation just yet.

Others hold back tears, or, failing that, let tears fall silently down their cheeks as they list off their spouses and children who are depending on them and the money they make at this job. It was as if they were trying to negotiate with the unseen person off screen, hoping to get their job back. It was part “Don’t fire me, my kids will suffer!” and part “If I can just make you realize how much pain you are causing me, and my family, I’m sure you will feel bad, apologize, come to your senses, and give me my job back.”

Other start sobbing, and asking “What did I do wrong?”, over and over again, wanting an answer, and a chance to correct whatever it was. They cannot believe that people can lose their jobs like this, so fast, and for no reason. It’s too horrible to accept that this is happening to them, right now, right this second.

A few people openly express their disgust. They are disgusted by both this unfamiliar person who fired them, and the boss who was too cowardly to do it himself. They are disgusted that there was absolutely no warning that they were about to be fired, and that the company they spent so many years working hard for and being loyal to has decided to drop them, as if all their efforts were meaningless, and were of no value.

The character that got me, though, was this one woman. She’s angry as hell! I cannot recall the exact words she uses, but, it is clear to everyone in the theater that her contempt for this person who fired her knows no boundaries. A laugh went through the small audience in the theater with me, which broke up the tension, and made it easier to continue watching the scene. I found myself laughing too, because this irate character was feeling exactly like I was when my job disappeared! I felt many of the other emotions expressed by characters in this film as well, but the first one, was rage.

When the montage ends, the camera pans over and reveals who the evil and vile person doing the firing is. It’s the main character, a man named Ryan, who, of course, is played by George Clooney. Everyone in the audience (and most of the characters we have “met” so far), already hate Ryan’s guts. I now associated the image of George Clooney as Ryan Bingham with the stress of being fired, and found myself no longer looking forward to seeing his face on the big screen. This was somewhat disappointing, for a good portion of the movie, until Ryan has an epiphany, grows a conscience, and becomes a real human being.

Ryan’s job is to travel all over the United States, and fire people. His company basically leases him (and others like him) out, and off they go, like the grim reapers of financial stability. This means, of course, that Ryan is constantly traveling. There are a lot of truly beautiful shots of the cities Ryan flies to, from the viewpoint of where the planes are, up in the air. If you watch this movie and still have a job that you feel is reasonably secure, you might think the movie got it’s name because of Ryan’s constant traveling by plane. If you happen to be unemployed, you realize that the phrase “Up In the Air” is exactly how it feels when your job is gone, and you have no idea what you are supposed to do next.

Later on, Ryan unwillingly ends up traveling with a new co-worker, whom he is supposed to train. Now I’m watching scenes of terrified office workers, watching these two walk past the cubicles, down the hallways, and into the empty conference room. The co-worker carries a pile of folders that all look the same, and everyone knows that people are about to get fired. Who will it be?

The people who get fired in later scenes of the movie react in even more extreme ways. Someone breaks down and sobs, inconsolably like a small child, and it wasn’t a character I expected to do that. Another person yells, and throws a chair. One person very calmly and clearly states exactly what her plans are now that she has lost her job. It’s obvious she has been thinking of this particular plan for a long, long, time, and watching her talk about it, so plainly, showing no emotion, is extremely chilling. I wonder how many people got fired and reacted just like these characters did.

There is a scene where they enter an office so devastated by job cuts that the room is nearly empty of both workers and furniture. There are phones sitting on the floor, still plugged in, with no desks to sit on and no workers left to answer them. The secretary is crying, and looks as if she has been doing so for days on end. It’s like someone has died, and everyone is still grieving. This scene lasts maybe a minute or two, no lines of dialogue are spoken by anyone, and yet, it says volumes about what is going on in the real world today.

Of course, this movie isn’t only about people becoming unemployed. Ryan grows, makes a friend who becomes much more to him than just a one night stand, and even finds a way to reconnect with his estranged family. The young co-worker struggles with connecting concepts she learned in school with the real world applications of her education. She is also trying to figure out if her choice to “follow a boy” and take the job she currently works in, (instead of one offered to her someplace else), was a good idea. There is a lot of other things going on, and by the end, I found myself actually liking who Ryan Bingham turned into. All the actors were believable, and some were amazing. The cinematography might have told the story on it’s own, if the movie was silent, it was that well done. No doubt, “Up In the Air” is a great movie, and I highly recommend people go and see it, now, while it is so very relevant.

This movie is a strange one to watch, however, if you happen to be unemployed. No matter where you are, emotionally, in the process of dealing with not having a job anymore, somebody on the screen is going to be in the same place. You are either going to feel uncomfortable when you find that part, or, I expect some people to get a good, cathartic, cry out of it. That can be a good thing, sometimes. “No, I’m ok. I’m crying because I watched a sad movie”, one can rationalize. I think this would be therapeutic for some people.

I walked out of the theater after the movie was over with something I never expected to experience when I first decided to go see “Up In the Air”. It was the feeling that I am not alone. Even though I know that there are an inordinate amount of people who are unemployed right now, even though every day I read another news article about more people losing their jobs, on some level, it’s all just words. Here is this movie that, in many ways, is a mirror for what I have been dealing with. Here is a movie bringing attention to the massive unemployment problem, that affects real people, all over the place, and it’s not just me experiencing this!

On some level, I believe I needed to hear that.


03
Jan 10

Happy New Year!

I want to be optimistic, and believe that 2010 will be a good year for me, for the rest of the unemployed and underemployed masses, for everyone. 2009 was a roller coaster of a year, and I’m hoping 2010 will be more…. I don’t know… I’m gonna say “tranquil”.

Today, (it’s Sunday, January 3, 2010 as I write this), I “mailed” my first Continued Claim Form of the new year. Yay. It will, of course, be picked up by the US Post Office sometime tomorrow, on Monday, as usual. I get to start off the new year with this reminder that I am, once again, unemployed, and dependent upon the US Government to send me money, so I can pay my bills. Yay. It’s unnerving!

This particular continued claim form did not arrive by itself. No, it arrived on December 26, 2009, (Merry Christmas to me!), with two other scary pieces of mail from the notorious EDD. This claim form was attached to my most recent Unemployment Insurance check, like usual. Something about this check was different, though.

Now, in the past few weeks, I had been listing the number of hours of work I did at my part-time job. In return, the EDD was reducing the amount of my UI checks, which I think has something to do with the amount of money I had earned at the part-time job. I had come to expect checks that were somewhat lower than, say, the first couple of checks I got when I was completely and entirely unemployed.

Wasn’t expecting a check for about twenty five dollars, however!

I, of course, panicked. I tore open the other two envelopes from the EDD, to see if something inside those could explain what was happening to my money. One envelope contained a piece of paper that was almost entirely blank. It looked suspiciously like the claim forms, except that it had almost no information. The little perforated part at the top said something suggesting that I had gone over the limit of the number of hours of work I could claim. What? Nothing ever said there was a limit! How could there be a limit, when I don’t have a full time job?

The third envelope contained a form that looked amazingly similar to the first form I ever got from the EDD. It had the following information:

NOTICE OF UNEMPLOYMENT INSURANCE CLAIM FILED

You filed a claim for Unemployment Insurance benefits effective 12/13/2009

When you filed your last claim you stated:
1. Your last employer was : (name of the answering service part time job that I used to have).

2. The last day you worked for that employer was 12/18/2009

3. The reason you are no longer working for the above employer is:
STILL WORKING

4. You are not receiving a pension or other income.

5. You are able and available to accept full time work.

It didn’t list statement number six, from the previous form. It seems the EDD has figured out that yes, in fact, I am a US citizen.

What to make of all this? First of all, it took the EDD until December 13, 2009 to understand that I had a part time job, even though I’d been letting them know that on each Continued Claim form I filled out and mailed back to them. I started that job in the end of October, 2009, and it took the EDD about two months to recognize this fact. One problem I immediately saw was that as of December 23, 2009, I no longer was employed at this particular part-time job. I’ve no idea what to do, in terms of this piece of paper. The information is all correct, and it indicated that I am to mail something out to them only if the information is wrong in some way.

I nearly had a panic attack next. What if this perplexing combination of mail means that the EDD decided that, instead of basing the amount of my Unemployment Insurance checks off of the full time job I held for about nine months of 2009, it was now going to instead base it off of this part-time job (that paid less than the full time one did)? I believed, for a while, that this was the EDD’s complex and convoluted way of telling me I was “screwed”. It became hard to breathe as I tried to envision how we were going to survive with me making about twenty-five dollars every two weeks from here on out.

I frantically flipped through the handy Blue Booklet I was sent from the EDD when I first signed up for Unemployment Insurance, (back in September of 2009). The only information I can glean from this is that the EDD is supposed to look at three month increments of this past year, and base my checks from whichever three months had the highest average of earning.

So, why did I get a twenty-five dollar check? I’ve no idea.

Whenever the next check arrives, I will be afraid to open it. The cynic in me believes that by doing exactly what I was asked to do, (continue to look for work, and take work if I can find it), I have messed everything up. I’m scared that the EDD will use this part-time job (that I no longer have), as an excuse to start sending me twenty-five dollar checks from here on out.

The slowly dying optimist in me says that wait, there is still this amount of money listed that is mine to get. The optimist points out that my Unemployment Insurance isn’t supposed to run out until sometime in September, 2010. The optimist says that having the part-time job was good, because it meant I got less money on the UI checks, so the remainder will last even longer than first anticipated by the EDD.

I will let you know who was right, whenever the next Unemployment Insurance check arrives. Assuming, of course, that it does, in fact arrive.


28
Dec 09

Dear Part-Time Job

Dear Part-Time Job,

It’s not you, it’s me.

Things started off so well. I was finally over my previous employment relationship, to the point where I didn’t miss it, or have the slightest interest in ever going back there. I was looking for someplace new. Someplace that could give me a couple of hours a week. You placed that ad on Craigslist, hoping to find a part-time employee, and the timing seemed perfect.

The whole interview process was delightfully short and simple, (especially compared to what I went through with my previous job). All it took was one phone call, a few quick emails, and a quick look at my resume for you to decide you wanted to talk to me. You only needed one person to approve of me, (and not a large group, like my last Job did). We talked a little bit about what we wanted, and, just like that, I became your new employee. It was so easy!

You are a really nice job, in many ways, Part-Time Job. I must admit, I starting thinking about our potential future together, as Job and Employee. Could this become a Full-Time situation someday? Did I want it to? I was considering it. None of my previous Jobs were as nice to me as you were, and I really liked that about you.

Right from the beginning, you wanted to spend much more time with me than the couple of hours I was looking for. I must admit, I was flattered, at first. It was nice to be an employee that was wanted by a Job, for a change, instead of a non-employee sending resume after resume to Jobs that never responded.

This was where the problems started with us, Part-Time Job. You were just so needy! You wanted me there almost daily, to fill every empty hour in your schedule. There were times when I left you for the night, and you wanted me to return to you less than twelve hours later. I thought we both wanted this to be a Part-Time employment relationship! Instead, I was starting to feel as confined and restricted as I did when I had a Full-Time Job. I realize that most employees in this economy would love to have all those hours with you. I guess I just wasn’t ready.

Everyone has things they like to do when they aren’t at The Job. I was no exception. One night a week, I had something I did with friends. It was just for fun. Honestly, I wasn’t working at another Job! I thought you would understand that, Part-Time Job, but no, you certainly didn’t. You insisted that you and I had to be together that one particular night, week after week. When I finally decided I needed to say something about it, well, we both know that didn’t go very well.

What finally made me decide that you were not the job for me after all, Dear Part-Time Job, was the sheer amount of rules you had. Everything had to be done so quickly, with no mistakes. Just when I thought I’d learned how you like things to be, you would change them. You kept adding more and more details to everything, and I became overwhelmed and extremely frustrated. You were such a nice Job, though, that I really wanted things to work out between us. I gave it my best try, but, by the end, it was clear to both of us that I wasn’t the employee you needed me to be.

I’m sure the perfect employee for you is out there, somewhere, Part-Time Job, and that the two of you will meet, someday. Someone who can be as detail oriented as you need. Someone who wants all the hours you can give them. I just am not that person, and I believe that if you think about it, you will realize that things could never have worked out between us.

Maybe you should consider putting your ad back up on Craigslist now.


27
Dec 09

Lucky Lottery Tickets…. I Hope

One of the things I got for Christmas this year were four lottery tickets.
tickets

I think a lot of people throw a few lottery tickets into the gift bag before giving the gift. It’s become something of a tradition in my family. Lottery tickets are nice because they represent a chance to win money. Until the moment you scratch them off, you can continue to dream about what you might do if you won a million dollars. After all, somebody has to have a winning ticket somewhere right? It could be you. It could be me! I’m unemployed, and it’s nice to be able to just to sit back and imagine having some extra money for a while.

Will these scratch off lottery tickets be winners? Let’s find out!

I’m going to start with the one that says “Cash To Go”. Printed inside a neon pink shape that resembles a cartoon explosion it says “Now with over $1.4 Million in $10 Prizes!” I am guessing most people read the “$1.4 Million” part and just focus on that number. However, if I understand it correctly, it is telling me that if I am very, very, lucky… I may win ten dollars. On the bottom of the ticket, in a box it says “Win up to $500!”. Surrounded by four stars, two green, and two purple, it says “QUICK $10 SPOT”. I am now completely confused about just what I might win from this ticket.

The directions for that one say “Match 3 like prizes, win that prize. Match 2 like prizes and a “GO” symbol, win 3 times that prize. Reveal “10″ in the “Quick $10 Spot”, win $10 instantly!”

Here we go. Quarter in hand, I proceed to start scratching off the ticket. The “Quick $10 Spot” says “9″. No winnings there. Now, I think I need to start scratching off the little icons of bundles of dollars, and hope to match three? I think? There are six. I get:
$4.00
$100.00
$20.00
$100.00 again! Just need one more!
$20.00 again! Just need one more!
One last little bundle of dollars is left for me to scratch off. Will this card be a winner? Holding my breath, and hoping for the best, I scratch off the last one. It says: “$3.00″. No such luck! For a few seconds, this was exciting. The part that says “Win up to $500″ is not something to scratch off. So much for that. I didn’t win anything here.

On to the second lottery ticket! This one says “Cool Cash” and has cute little penguins on it. The directions say: “Match any of “YOUR NUMBERS” to the “WINNING NUMBER”, win that prize. Uncover a (icon of a dollar bill), symbol and automatically win that prize”. Each cute little penguin is sitting under the words “YOUR NUMBERS” and has the word “prize” under it. Off to the side, frozen in a big block of ice, is a dollar sign, with “WINNING NUMBER” over it. Here we go! I start scratching penguins. There are five. I get:
$6.00 and number 15
$4.00 and number 11
$50.00 Oh boy! and number 7
$500.00 Wow! and number 8
$6.00 Got two of those! Does it mean anything? and number 25
The winning number says : number 26
Hmm… didn’t win anything there either.

Next ticket! This one says “HIT $50!” There are five little pictures of bundles of money, under the heading “YOUR NUMBERS”. There is a green box with a dollar sign that says “WINNING NUMBER”. The directions for this one say “Match any of “YOUR NUMBERS” to the “WINNING NUMBER”, win that prize. Uncover a HIT symbol, win $50 instantly!” This seems less complex than the previous lottery ticket. Here we go! I get:
$25.00 and the number 9
TICKET and the number 12. Hey, I won a free lottery ticket!
$10 and the number 11
$50.00 Oh Boy! and the number 21
$5.00 and the number 26

The “WINNING NUMBER” is: 12. This matches up to the one that says “TICKET”. I won a free lottery ticket! I can try again!

One last lottery ticket to go. This one says “Make Me a Millionaire!” and has a large box that looks like a flat screen tv, which says “TV SHOW!”. Is this inspired by an actual television program? I’ve no idea. The directions are simple: “Match three like prizes, win that prize.” I think I am supposed to scratch off the tv screen? I get:
$2.00
TV SHOW
TV SHOW
$50.00 Oh boy!
$50.00 Oh boy, again!
and….
$10.00.
This lottery ticket is not a winner. It was nice to dream for a while, though.

Now, I can take the ticket that gives me another ticket to a store that sells the lottery tickets, turn it in, and try again. I can also take the other three tickets, and enter them online into some kind of second chance drawing. Pretty sure I won’t hear anything about it after that, but if I do, I will write a blog and let you all know what I won.

I guess I can continue to dream for a while, after all.


26
Dec 09

Really Helpful vs Selfishly Helpful

When times are hard, it’s so nice when local businesses take the opportunity to help those who are in need. Right now, many of the large, corporate owned, chain restaurants are helping people by giving away coupons. These coupons are usually of the “buy one, get one free” type. Yes, this does give a person who doesn’t have much cash a little more food for the money they would spend, if they happen to want two “value meals” instead of one, or an extra cheeseburger at that moment. I have found these type of coupons work pretty well if you are trying to feed two people, and you want to split the fries or the drink.

Make no mistake though, these coupons from the big chain restaurants are not actually there to help people who need food. One must come in and spend money before you can get the free item they offer. The hope of the big corporations is that you will use this coupon, buy the food item they are offering, get the free item, and then spend some additional money to buy more stuff.

For example: If a coupon says something like “get a free cheeseburger if you buy a value meal”, and you are trying to feed two people, you most likely end up buying the value meal, and an extra order of fries, and an extra drink…. which might cost more than if you just bought two value meals. It certainly costs more than the “buy a value meal and get a free cheeseburger” that you came in for. Big chain restaurants don’t want to help you, the unemployed or underemployed person with limited funds, unless, of course, they can do it in a way that tricks you into giving them more of those limited funds. They care that you don’t give your money to the next fast food place on the block, but they don’t give a damn about people. It’s all about helping themselves reach their “sales plan”.

Chain restaurants who offer a coupon for a “free appetizer” are hoping you will come in for the free item, and then order an entree, and some drinks, and maybe another appetizer. Oh, and hopefully you will bring somebody else with you, who can also order their own entree, drinks, and appetizers. They are making you think they are helping you, when they are really helping you give them more of your money. It’s about helping themselves stay “in the black”. It may provide a little help to people with very little cash, yes, but, mostly, it’s a way to claim that they are doing something to help, while selfishly grabbing all the cash they can, from people who can least afford to give it.

One would think that the largest restaurant chains would be able to afford to offer some real help to people right now, but that isn’t what I see. It’s the little restaurants, the “mom and pop” type places, that are actually stepping in and giving real help to people in need.

Check out this article, titled : Comfort, joy and a free buffet. This was from the Northwest Herald, a newspaper that serves McHenry County, Illinois, and it was published December 26, 2009.

Mandile’s Restaurant, in Algonquin, is owned and run by the Mandile family. They opened up their buffet on Christmas Day, for free, for anyone who arrived, and was “economically challenged”. No proof was asked for, or needed. They simply asked people when they were coming, and how many people would be in their party. Nearly 200 hungry people were fed by volunteers that day, (seventeen of whom were members of the Mandile’s own family).

Why did the good people of Mandile’s Restaurant do this? Here’s some quotes from the article:

* The family’s patriarch, Carmine Mandile, said that as his family celebrated Thanksgiving this year, they reflected on the high unemployment rate and the lives that the sluggish economy was changing.

* “We got thinking about the people hit by the economy and what we could do,” he said.

So they decided to open their restaurant on Christmas Day, and feed 200 people in need. For free. Without asking for anything at all in return from them. Hungry people “enjoyed a feast of ham, turkey and all the trimmings, as well as a table full of homemade desserts.” That’s the right way to help people!

Now, if a small, family owned restaurant can give so much, at their own expense, to help people who might otherwise be starving on Christmas….. why can’t these big corporate owned chain restaurants do it too? It’s obvious that these huge chains can afford to do so, or at least would be better prepared to do so than one family who runs their own little restaurant. I guess the old saying is true: “Those who can give the most are the ones who have the least”.

If you happen to live near Algonquin, Illinois, and are looking for somewhere good to eat, I suggest stopping by Mandile’s restaurant. It’s time to support the smaller businesses who actually put in the time, effort, and expense to give something back to their communities. If you are going out to eat anyway, drive past one of the big chain restaurants that only cares about the money you carry in your wallets, and spend your hard earned cash in the “mom and pop” shops who see you as an actual person, instead.


23
Dec 09

Dyslexia and Starting Over

It’s official. I am unemployed, once again.

My part time job at an Answering Service has ended. No, it’s not because I was a “seasonal employee”. No, this company wasn’t being heartless and choosing to fire me right before Christmas. It’s not like that at all.

It turns out that working for an Answering Service is not something everyone is capable of doing. You may have an image in your head that all you have to do is answer the phone, and take down a message. I have learned that this is an extraordinarily simplistic concept of what a person who works at an Answering Service is required to do.

Everything is done through a computer, which means that one must push the correct combination of buttons to disconnect a call after someone hangs up, and a different combination of buttons to call out to someone to give them certain kinds of messages, and yet another entirely different combination of buttons to find out just who you are supposed to call in the first place. One must fill in the boxes on the screen with obvious things like the caller’s name, reason for the call, and a phone number that the client can reach them at to return their call, as you might assume. One must also fill in a multitude of boxes asking entirely different things, specific to the client’s needs. Some of the people whose calls we answer are doctors, who need us to page other doctors. In some cases, this may, potentially be, a life or death matter. I was never able to figure out all the buttons I should press, and in what sequence, to do this part well. It’s a much more stressful and complicated job than you might have thought it was, when you thought the job was about just answering the phones.

Oh, and just to clarify, this job did not involve sales, of any kind, at all. I mean, technically, the Answering Service must be doing some kind of sales in order to have clients sign up with them, of course. What I mean is that I wasn’t working as a “telemarketer” at this job. (I’ve done telemarketing in the past, more than once, absolutely hate doing it, and hope to never have to do it ever again in my life.)

Anyone can answer the phone, after all. Most everyone can take down a message with important details about the call. It turns out that not many people are able to do all the things involved in working for an Answering Service. For this reason, you do not simply show up at work on your first day and immediately get right on the phones. There is an extensive amount of training you receive first. Then, when the trainers feel you are ready, they put you on the phones with a trainer sitting next to you, listening in, and ready to jump in if a particular caller is difficult, or if you become unsure of what to say, to type, or to press. Eventually, you end up on the phones seated nearby one of the trainers, who is there to answer questions you might still have about how to do a particular thing, or for advice if you need a judgement call. Is this situation on the phone considered an emergency, or not? Sometimes that answer isn’t as obvious as you might think. After that, you are “on your own” on the phones (but still sitting right next to trainers, and still able to contact other workers for help right through the computer system itself). You aren’t simply abandoned to fend for yourself until you are truly equipped to handle things.

I heard from most of my coworkers that when they first went through the training they felt overloaded with information, every day, for quite a while. Many of them said that when they were being trained, they hit a point where they thought “I will never be able to do this”, and seriously considered quitting. The talked to me about what one thing made them completely nervous to the point where they were sweating when they first started working there. For some people, it was dealing with rude callers, who yelled at or cussed out the worker on the other end of the phone. Some people had specific combinations of buttons that they had trouble with, and they dreaded the situations where they knew they would have to use those buttons in that order. Lots of people told me, independent of each other, that when they first started answering the phones on their own (without the aide of a trainer) that they were “completely terrified”. But then, one day, everything “clicked”, and they just “got it”.

Many of my (now former) coworkers have been working there for years, and, for the most part, they like what they do. Lots of other people get overwhelmed and frustrated by the nature of the job, and end up quitting before they even get close to finishing training, or, shortly after they are “on their own” answering phones. Answering Services, as a whole, tend to have a high burn out rate, an a correspondingly high turn over rate.

Some of you reading this blog may be unaware that I am dyslexic. It was obvious to me when I applied for this job that I would be dealing with a lot of phone numbers, which tend to give me problems. I had a plan for that, however. I can use the “numberline” of numbers across the keyboard to type in the digits of a phone number, instead of the jumble of buttons on the side of the keyboard. This way, I can teach my hands the proximity of each where each number is, and hit the right one in the right order. It’s something like learning to play the piano, where you hands just have to learn where to find the keys. This company encourages all it’s workers to repeat the phone number back to the caller, which I also found helpful. It was a good way to avoid mistakes. I figured I could find other ways to work around my dyslexia, (to avoid spelling errors, and reading errors), as I learned the job. After all, my entire life is spent “learning” how to translate the world around me into something I can get my dyslexic brain to comprehend. Adapting to this job shouldn’t be that much of a problem, I figured.

What I did not know when I was hired, and what I couldn’t possibly know until I’d gone through at least part of the training was the sheer amount of data that my brain would be bombarded with each and every work shift. Phone numbers I had a plan for, and I can get pretty far figuring out how to spell caller’s names correctly with some other little tricks I use to unscramble words. These tricks, I have learned, do not work after a certain amount of time. My brain just gets too overwhelmed, and it becomes harder and harder to unscramble the gibberish parts of what is on the screen in front of me. I ended up mispronouncing the names of businesses, because it contained words that were new to me (like someone’s last name). I had a hard time finding the pager number of a doctor I was supposed to page, because in order to find it, I needed to be able to spell at least part of the doctor’s name correctly.

There was a certain combination of buttons to use to bring up a “directory” I could search through to find a doctor, or to find a list of people who worked for a certain company, and their corresponding contact numbers. One of those same buttons, and some new ones were used to bring up the “dial list”, which visually, looked a whole lot like the directory. One of the buttons from that combination brings up the “dialer”, which allows you call somebody outside of the office. It was too many D’s for my dyslexic brain to sort out, in the heat of the moment, while trying to get through a call.

Another problem I have as a dyslexic is learning new words. Sure, I sound educated and intelligent when you talk to me, or possibly when you read my writing. Show me a word that is new to me, such as somebody’s last name, however, and I become a first grader once again, slowing down to a crawl, concentrating, and attempting to “sound it out”, hoping that I am seeing the letters in the right order as I make my attempt. I thought at first that eventually, I would have learned all these new words, as I learned the last names of all the doctors, lawyers, and other clients that this answering service, well, serves, and that particular dyslexic problem would be a thing of the past. I also believed that even though I was having difficulty deciphering each new “script” for each individual client now, that eventually, I would have a mental picture in my head of each one, and this would all become easier.

This proved to be impossible, because it turns out that an answering service is not a static thing. It’s dynamic, and ever changing. New doctors are added to the lists of particular hospitals daily. Doctors are constantly changing who is on call, and who will take what other doctor’s patients. There wasn’t a way to generate a list of all their names for me to take home and study like a kid with a list of Spelling Words, the night before the Spelling Test.

All of the offices, be they for doctors, lawyers, plumbers, or anything else you can think of, were continually asking the company to change things. Could your operators ask the caller this? Make sure the operators are getting this specific piece of information now, that I didn’t ask you to have them get before. This meant the script for that client would change, and when you make a change to something visual, it makes me, the unfortunate dyslexic, start all over again, learning it from the beginning.

I was learning how to do this job right through the holiday season, which meant that all the offices were closing and opening at different times, and on different days than normal. I was constantly re-learning what to say when callers asked something as simple as “are they closed today?” Just when I managed to learn how to do calls for a particular client, it would change, an I’d end up making the same mistakes again that I had previously learned to stop making, as I tried to teach my brain what to do with this new script that looks different, and therefore, for a dyslexic brain, must be something entirely new.

It became obvious to my trainers, and the managers, that I was not doing well with this job. I wasn’t anywhere near where they wanted me to be, and no one knew why. I was open about the fact that I was dyslexic, but, this doesn’t do much good in an office full of people who barely recognize the word, who aren’t learning disabled in any way themselves, and who think that dyslexics look at a page of writing an the numbers jump up and run around like cartoon characters. I didn’t expect any of them to be skilled at training a dyslexic worker, but I did expect that I would be able to somehow find my own way to comprehend the data I was given. It didn’t work. I continued to make stupid mistakes that I should have outgrown, I continued to bombard my trainers with question after question about things I should have already learned how to do well, I was constantly having things sent back to me that I had done incorrectly. My husband works for this same company, and he was also noticing things I had screwed up in some way. One of the managers recently resorted to asking him if he could figure out what might work to train me. They had exhausted all their ideas at this point.

Eventually, I had to realize that despite my best efforts, and despite the best efforts of the entire training team at this answering service, I was simply not going to be able to do this job. I was beyond frustrated. It’s hard to give something your best effort, and still fail. It’s not easy to be slower at learning things than everyone around you, and expected to keep up with them. Being unable to do this job because my dyslexia was getting in the way made me feel like the one stupid kid in school who can’t get the math right, no matter how many times the teacher shows her how to work the problem. I had started to feel like the “slow kid” in class, once again. It’s frustrating and depressing to feel like this.

After much thought, and discussion with Shawn, I decided the best thing to do would be to go to the manager who was so perplexed by my lack of improvement, and explain things to her. It gets tiring to constantly have to educate the world around me about what dyslexia is, and how it affects my ability to process the world around me. Sometimes, people simply do not believe me when I tell them I am dyslexic. “But, you are so intelligent!” they exclaim, as if having high intelligence and having dyslexia are two concepts that are incapable of occurring in one human being at the same time. I think they mean this as a compliment, but it never feels like one. It feels like a nicer way to say “I don’t believe you are dyslexic”.

Fortunately, the manager was incredibly understanding about this. Like I said, it was obvious to her, (and the entire office, I’m sure), that I wasn’t doing well. Now, the mystery of why this was happening was solved. What could have been an extraordinarily uncomfortable conversation was rather pleasant. Well, as pleasant as a conversation where the boss and the employee openly come to the mutual conclusion that this employment relationship needs to end. I didn’t “quit”, and I didn’t “get fired”. I simply could not make it through the training, and that was that.

Fortunately, I started getting checks from the EDD for Unemployment Insurance days before I started working at this part time job at the answering service. I continued to get them, because I wasn’t getting enough hours to live on, and so, the Unemployment Insurance basically has you report how many hours you worked, and supplements it with an equally reduced check. In other words, I am not as screwed because I lost my job this time around as I was when the school district unceremoniously dumped me in September.


20
Dec 09

Oh, Really? Let’s Find Out!

Shawn was on ebay, and he saw this little ad:
monster

Monster.com is another site you can go to and search for a job. I’ve heard of it, but somehow, I never ended up going there to search for a job. I don’t know why I didn’t go there to look, since it is a popular site.

This little ad interests me. It implies that finding the “perfect” job on Monster is exactly as easy as finding the “perfect” item on ebay. Oh, really? I decided to test that implication.

It seems the first step I need to do is go to ebay , and figure out what the “perfect item” to search for would be.

Step One: Go to the main page of ebay. That was easy. There is a red button here that says “Sign In”. I don’t actually want to sign in. I prefer being able to have a look around at what a website has to offer before I sign up for whatever it is. So, I’m skipping that part.

Step Two: Figure out what the “perfect item” is that I want to search for. This is extremely subjective. The item I think of as “perfect” and want to search for is not likely to be the same item you think of as the “perfect” item you want to search for. And, tomorrow, or a week from now? I might have changed my mind, and the item that I considered “perfect” today will no longer fit that description. Hmmm… what to do?

There are a ton of categories to search through, and I think it’s going to be incredibly time consuming to randomly search around, hoping to happen upon the “perfect” item. Looks like I have to pick something. Ok, fine. For the purposes of this experiment, the “perfect item” is going to be a book. I’ve been looking for a copy of Anne McCaffrey’s “Masterharper of Pern”, in mass-market paperback size. I’ve got most of the series, and this one is next, and I cannot find it anywhere. So, this will be the “perfect” item I shall search for.

Step Three: Attempt to find the “perfect” item.
I found a category that says “Books”, so I clicked there. Easy! Oh, wait, not as easy. This brought me to a page with a billion sub-categories of books. What category would people who are selling this book place it under? I decided to click on “Fiction and Literature”, because “Fantasy” and “Science Fiction” are two separate categories in the world of ebay, and if I was in a bookstore, I would look for this book under the “Sci-Fi/Fantasy” section. Click!

This bring me to a page where I can see a big list with photos, and descriptions I can click on. It also says I have “942,095″ items to search through. Too many! Oh, wait… it looks like towards the top of the page there is a little space for me to put in a description, and it has already selected “Fiction and Literature” from the drop down list of items in the box next to it. I put “Anne McCaffrey Masterharper of Pern” in the empty box, and hit “enter”, hoping for the best.

“Safari can’t open the page”. Damn you, Safari! Damn you! I refresh the page, and see what happened to my search. It takes two refreshes to get me there.

There are exactly three items here that fit my search for the “perfect” item. That’s easy to sort through. Oh, wait…. under that is another category, that says there are fifteen items in the “ebay store”. What does that mean? I take a few minutes to look it over, and decide that the “ebay store” contains things I can buy right now, while the top three items are up for auction? Ok, that was a bit more confusing than I needed it to be.

Let’s see what these three items are. The very first one looks like exactly what I am looking for, so I click on it. It’s mass-market paperback, the cover looks like it pretty much matches the rest of the covers from the parts of the series that I already have. It says it costs $1.00, plus $3.75 shipping. Sounds good to me! I may have found the “perfect” item.

Step Four: Attempt to actually acquire the “perfect item”

I start by clicking on the bright blue “Buy It Now” button. This brings me to a nag screen. It seems on ebay I can look around all I like, but when I decide to buy something, it wants me to do some extra steps and sign up. Not unexpected, but still displeasing. I have two options here. I can either make an account with ebay, or, I can click on the button that says “Guest Checkout”. The gods of ebay allow one to “make your first purchase as a guest shopper”. Click!

“Welcome Guest, please enter your contact information below. Until you complete payment, another eBay user may purchase this item.” I can click on a link to “learn more”. Someone else can buy it out from under me? I’m not liking that too much. What if I give you all my information, and somebody else buys it before I get done? Ok, granted, there isn’t going to be a run on Fantasy books written over a decade ago, but still!

It only takes a minute to fill in all the boxes of information they want from me. That wasn’t so bad. Until it bounces back, and tells me that I haven’t filled in my telephone number, which, I did. I can see it right there on the screen! This is not so easy after all. Oh, wait, maybe it’s because I filled in xxxx where it wanted an extension number, because I don’t have an extension. Click! It works!

I am now on the payment option screen, where it wants me to log into my Pay Pal account. I can’t remember how much money is in there at the moment. It take a minute to go search around to find my password, and then I hit enter. Now it wants a credit card, “just in case” my Pay Pal account payment doesn’t get to them. You know what? The hell with this! I’m canceling. Too many steps.

Finding the “perfect” item on ebay wasn’t too hard. Actually going through all the steps to get it was aggravating! So much so that I simply stopped filling things out, and, essentially, canceled the order. I would not describe this experience as “easy”.

Let’s see what happens on Monster, when I attempt to find the “perfect” job.

Step One: Go to the main page of Monster. There is a giant box in the middle of the screen telling me I can try out their “Power Search Beta” whatever that might be. No, thanks. At the top of the page are two boxes I can type words into to have Monster do some searching for me. One says “Enter Keywords” and gives examples. The other says “Enter Location” which can be “city, state, or zip code”. So far, this is easier to navigate than ebay’s first screen was.

Step Two: Figure out what the “perfect” job is that I want to search for. Again, the criteria for this is as subjective is it was for the “perfect” item. What’s the “perfect” job? Your answer to this question will likely be different from mine. The box I can type into suggests terms like “nurse”. Hmm.. guess I can’t just type in something like “Stay at home, flexible hours, writing blogs, for full time pay, and benefits”. Damn!

I currently have a part time job, which I am liking enough to stay there for a while. So, for the purposes of this experiment, I am going to search for a freelance writing job, and consider this to be my “perfect” job. Let’s see what happens!

Step Three: Attempt to find the “perfect” job.

I go to the box of keywords, and type “freelance writer”. Considering how much writing takes place online now, do I really need to type a location into the second box? I think not. I click the little box that says “search”. And, we’re off!

There are “263″ items that have appeared. I like that I can scroll the mouse over each one, and read the little window that pops up, and gives me a description. This is an improvement on ebay, where you must click on each and every separate thing to get a description of the item. Also, I’d like to note that Monster did not crash my browser (twice) before letting me see what my search criteria gleaned from it’s resources.

I notice that these jobs are not listed by date, meaning that the most recently listed is not on top. I prefer seeing the newest ones first, so, I click the box that says “date”. Monster magically re-arranges the jobs for me. It doesn’t crash my browser this time, either.

Let’s see what we have here. The first job wants an “Investment Writer”, which I do not have the skills to do. Honestly, do you want to listen to the writings of a dyslexic stock analyst? I didn’t think so. The next twenty two listings are exactly the same, except for the location. This company wants “writer/photographers” local to particular areas. Only one of these places happens to be in California, where I live, but it is far, far, away from me. (At least, I think so. I know it’s not someplace I could easily drive to). The next listing wants a “Web Content Writer” for “downtown Baltimore”. This is followed by a listing for the same company, that now wants an “Interactive copywriter” who lives in Plano, Texas. Nope! Too far away for me to even consider. The last job on this page of twenty five listings is from the same company that listed itself twenty two times on the page already. It wants a “writer/photographer” who lives in Jackson Mississippi.

Not one of these jobs fits the description of “perfect” I had in mind. Page two is filled with that same company again, looking for “writer photographers” for everywhere but where I live. The center of the page has an internal advertisement, suggesting I should get a degree, or perhaps give up on my “perfect” job and consider becoming a nurse instead. Page three has twenty five more listings for the exact same company that spammed up the first two pages. A few of these listings are in California, but the nearest one is still a couple of hours away from me (one way). I notice the internal ad embedded in the middle of this page is telling me, again, that I should get a degree, or else, it suggests I should go do a job listed as “retail” in another town that is several hours away from me. I have hit my personal “frustration point” with this whole experiment. I am now giving up on Monster dot com.

In Conclusion:
Finding the “perfect” item on ebay was not exactly easy. I had to jump through several hoops to find it, and then I would have had to jump through several more hoops to actually get it. Finding the “perfect” job on Monster was impossible. Nothing in the first four pages of my search showed me what I was looking for. None of it’s listings were even close to my idea of the “perfect” job.

Of course, much of this experiment was subjective in nature, and your results may vary.